1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:20,000 MORNING GLORY (2010) 2 00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:35,065 - Hi. Hi, hi. - Hey. 3 00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:36,297 - You must be... - Bill. 4 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,428 - Yeah. - Hi. 5 00:00:37,574 --> 00:00:39,474 Hi. Becky. Hi. 6 00:00:40,777 --> 00:00:44,713 Thanks for having dinner so early. I know it's... it's a pain. 7 00:00:44,848 --> 00:00:47,282 No, that's, that's... 8 00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:49,846 Interesting crowd. 9 00:00:51,321 --> 00:00:53,186 Yeah. My job is the problem. 10 00:00:53,323 --> 00:00:55,120 I'm... I work at Good Morning, New Jersey and... 11 00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:58,352 - Right, on channel nine. Right? - Right. Yeah. 12 00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:01,953 So, yeah, we're on really early, so I... I go to bed really early and 13 00:01:02,098 --> 00:01:05,295 we used to be on at, 5am, but then we got bought by this 14 00:01:05,435 --> 00:01:07,665 giant company and they wanted to run us instead of infomercials. 15 00:01:07,804 --> 00:01:10,830 'Cause we generate slightly more revenue and... 16 00:01:10,974 --> 00:01:12,703 Now we're on at four. 17 00:01:13,777 --> 00:01:16,678 Sorry, I'm gonna turn this off. It's so... 18 00:01:16,813 --> 00:01:20,647 Sorry. That's like, oh, my God, that's so annoying 19 00:01:20,784 --> 00:01:22,877 when people do this. It's like, "check, please." 20 00:01:24,221 --> 00:01:28,715 I'm not gonna touch this... ever again. Sorry. 21 00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:32,727 No, that's, it's... it's OK. 22 00:01:32,863 --> 00:01:33,921 It's OK. 23 00:01:36,399 --> 00:01:37,559 I... 24 00:01:37,701 --> 00:01:40,465 I'm... I'm really glad that you picked this place. I... 25 00:01:40,604 --> 00:01:44,506 You know, it kind of reminds me of Matthews in Waldwick. 26 00:01:44,641 --> 00:01:48,168 They have the most amazing, like, delicious, thick, big, juicy... 27 00:01:49,179 --> 00:01:52,615 Lots of Belgian waffles and syrup in the... 28 00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:54,876 And... 29 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,951 Anyway... boring! 30 00:02:01,224 --> 00:02:02,691 What do you do? 31 00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:04,384 - Anna told me you're in... - Marketing. 32 00:02:04,527 --> 00:02:06,222 - Right. - For an insurance company, 33 00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:10,299 and I dabble in ceramics, but... 34 00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,434 Take it. 35 00:02:13,403 --> 00:02:17,032 Sorry, it's... I... This is my boss. 36 00:02:17,173 --> 00:02:18,970 - Go ahead. Take it. - Really? 37 00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:21,134 - Yeah. - OK, great, thanks. 38 00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:22,905 Just be a sec. Promise. 39 00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:25,879 Hi! Yeah, yeah. 40 00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:28,348 I left three messages for his attorney. I don't know. 41 00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:31,249 If he doesn't call me back, I'm gonna... I'll wait outside his office. 42 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,397 - Good morning, Becky. - 'Night, Jim. 43 00:02:45,535 --> 00:02:48,197 Good morning, New Jersey, it's 2am. 44 00:02:48,338 --> 00:02:50,602 We cover the Garden State from corner to corner. 45 00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:53,106 ...the perfect alternative... 46 00:02:56,212 --> 00:02:58,737 New Jersey Transit is reporting a 20-minute delay... 47 00:02:58,882 --> 00:03:01,612 ...come out in support of your local eateries. 48 00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:02,979 Powerball Lottery jackpot... 49 00:03:03,119 --> 00:03:04,484 Right in the base... 50 00:03:04,621 --> 00:03:07,351 Yes, but I did it in a really adorable way. 51 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,788 Rent a mini-rig. Cheaper and we can get closer to the action. 52 00:03:09,926 --> 00:03:12,156 I was thinking we'd get someone in the winner's circle. 53 00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:13,489 A pinata? You can do the pinata? 54 00:03:13,630 --> 00:03:15,029 - I can do it. - Yeah? OK. 55 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:19,092 - Four... three... - Thank you, thank you. 56 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,810 Ready to dissolve to jib. Jib, ready to make your move. 57 00:03:32,949 --> 00:03:34,940 Ten seconds to air, everybody. 58 00:03:35,085 --> 00:03:37,781 Ready to roll track and fade up under one. 59 00:03:37,921 --> 00:03:40,651 ...three, two... one. 60 00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:42,280 Roll track and fade up under one. 61 00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,295 Good morning, New Jersey. 4:38 if you're just waking up. 62 00:03:49,432 --> 00:03:50,956 A quick look at traffic now. 63 00:03:51,101 --> 00:03:53,296 Holland Tunnel is backed up 'cause of an overturned big rig 64 00:03:53,436 --> 00:03:54,562 in the right and center lanes. 65 00:03:54,704 --> 00:03:58,162 Officials say this should be cleared up in about an hour. 66 00:03:58,308 --> 00:04:00,435 So then, expect delays from Ridgefield Park. 67 00:04:00,577 --> 00:04:02,841 - But until then, you should... - Is that snoring? 68 00:04:02,979 --> 00:04:05,243 Jesus. Not again. Can you go to the single of Ralph? 69 00:04:05,382 --> 00:04:06,644 - Harry, Harry. - The Deko! 70 00:04:06,783 --> 00:04:08,216 - Wrong lower third! - The Deko! 71 00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:11,582 ...the hidden dangers that could be in your home. 72 00:04:11,721 --> 00:04:14,849 All that and a look at sports at the top of the hour. 73 00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,583 Stick with us here at Good Morning, New Jersey. 74 00:04:16,726 --> 00:04:17,886 Oh, my God. 75 00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:19,928 - Nice shot. You're a stud. - No problemo. 76 00:04:20,063 --> 00:04:22,361 Rain will fall when you go to the mall 77 00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:24,865 Later will clear, the sun will appear 78 00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:27,196 Overnight low is 50 Move your rear 79 00:04:27,337 --> 00:04:29,362 Hey, ho, whoo 80 00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,368 - Hey. - Hi. 81 00:04:31,508 --> 00:04:34,841 Hey, I talked to Raymond in HR. He said the company's reorganizing 82 00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:39,438 all the stations and they've budgeted us for a new senior producer. 83 00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:44,214 They pulled your employment records. You're getting it, Becky. 84 00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:46,754 You're finally getting the job. 85 00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:53,187 Hey, kiddo, can you come by my office after the show? 86 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:56,162 - Oh, me. - No, not me, you. 87 00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,056 Yes. 88 00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:06,541 The puppy, a Chinese crested is worth over $600 and answers to the... 89 00:05:06,676 --> 00:05:08,371 Make your move, jib, make your move... 90 00:05:08,511 --> 00:05:11,708 And in Newark today, police arrested 12 members of... 91 00:05:20,657 --> 00:05:22,989 What? What's going on? What is that? 92 00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:24,991 We thought you might need this. 93 00:05:25,128 --> 00:05:27,756 That better not be a box of condoms again and I didn't even use the old one. 94 00:05:27,897 --> 00:05:30,058 No, you're gonna use this. 95 00:05:33,069 --> 00:05:34,058 Oh, my God. 96 00:05:34,204 --> 00:05:35,728 - Congratulations. - Congrats. 97 00:05:35,872 --> 00:05:37,237 That's so sweet. 98 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,375 Becky, we have to let you go. 99 00:05:49,519 --> 00:05:52,079 I'm really sorry about this, kiddo. 100 00:05:52,222 --> 00:05:54,782 Corporate wants us to reduce our overhead. 101 00:05:54,924 --> 00:05:58,416 We're having to make big cuts and they want me to hire a senior producer 102 00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:01,291 with more business experience to manage the contraction of the show. 103 00:06:01,431 --> 00:06:03,661 But wait a second. You told them you can't do that, right? 104 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,928 Because I... I've been here so long and I've worked so hard. 105 00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:08,833 His name is Chip. 106 00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:12,533 He's... Chip starts Monday. 107 00:06:12,675 --> 00:06:15,735 He has an M.B.A. And a journalism degree from Columbia. 108 00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:19,440 They're grooming him to run the whole station in a few years. 109 00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:24,747 In the meantime, I can't afford to keep you both. 110 00:06:26,189 --> 00:06:28,817 - Becky, look, I'm really... - Oh, shit. 111 00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:32,951 Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shitty... 112 00:06:33,096 --> 00:06:36,998 Becky, I... I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 113 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,296 - I fought them as hard as I could. - There's lots of terrific 114 00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:44,338 opportunities out there, you know? I mean, look at Chip. He got one. 115 00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:47,375 So maybe this is just the push I need, you know? 116 00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:50,809 So it can get me to the next level, maybe even to a network or... 117 00:06:50,947 --> 00:06:53,177 - Yeah. - I mean, it's not like 118 00:06:53,316 --> 00:06:56,046 it's my whole life. It's only work, right? 119 00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:03,951 Did you get any severance? 120 00:07:06,729 --> 00:07:08,924 There were some budgetary cuts last year, 121 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:12,034 so they weren't really offering. 122 00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:15,136 But I have feelers out. Lots. 123 00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:17,535 - Yeah, great. - Honey, you think the Today show 124 00:07:17,674 --> 00:07:20,700 is gonna call you up and hand you a job, you have since you were eight, 125 00:07:20,843 --> 00:07:23,778 - and it's not gonna happen. - I don't, I know that, I do, I get it. 126 00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:27,371 This is partly my fault. I... 127 00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:31,248 I let your father get your hopes up. 128 00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:35,756 He was not a happy person, let's face it. 129 00:07:35,892 --> 00:07:38,759 When he saw you aim high, he started to feel better about himself, 130 00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:41,489 - so I never said anything. - What are you saying? 131 00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:44,225 You had a dream, you know? Great. 132 00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,131 When you were eight, it was adorable. 133 00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:50,103 When you were 18, it was inspiring. 134 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,801 At 28, it's officially embarrassing. 135 00:07:55,044 --> 00:07:59,481 And I just want you to stop before we get to heartbreaking. 136 00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:25,474 The troops are involved in projects... 137 00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:27,473 Waiting arrival... 138 00:08:29,045 --> 00:08:31,570 On my BlackBerry, it shows that you got my e-mail, 139 00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:36,151 so I was just wondering if... Yeah, it shows when someone's opened it. 140 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,275 Hello? 141 00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:38,717 Becky Fuller. Yeah. 142 00:08:38,855 --> 00:08:41,722 I wanted to make sure that you got the resume that I e-mailed you. 143 00:08:41,858 --> 00:08:42,847 You did. Great. 144 00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:45,961 Becky Fuller again. I was just wondering if... 145 00:08:46,729 --> 00:08:48,629 Yes, I did call yesterday, but I updated my resume last night 146 00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:49,789 and thought you might... 147 00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:53,095 I'm calling because I was checking up on the position 148 00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:55,033 and I was wondering if it had been... 149 00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:02,041 - Hi, Becky Fuller. - Hi. 150 00:09:02,178 --> 00:09:05,341 Hi, this is Jerry Barnes calling from IBS in New York. How are you? 151 00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:08,480 - Good. - Terrific. Listen, I'm calling 152 00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:12,554 'cause I received your resume, all five of them, actually. 153 00:09:12,689 --> 00:09:13,883 And it just so happens, 154 00:09:14,023 --> 00:09:16,321 that we're looking for somebody at the moment. 155 00:09:16,459 --> 00:09:17,653 I'll take it. 156 00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:20,160 Well, wait, I haven't told you what it is yet. 157 00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:22,025 - Sorry. - Well, our morning show 158 00:09:22,165 --> 00:09:23,792 - has a vacancy and so... - I'll take it! 159 00:09:23,933 --> 00:09:27,130 We're interviewing a bunch of people. Maybe you can come in 160 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,760 - and we can have a talk. - Sure! Absolutely. 161 00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:31,669 Just tell me where to go and who to talk to. 162 00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:35,209 OK, I'll get you an e-mail with the details of where we are in the city. 163 00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:37,336 - Sorry! - And shall we say 3:00? 164 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,879 Thank you, thank you! 165 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:57,791 Oscar says you're very talented and you work incredibly hard. 166 00:09:57,934 --> 00:10:01,836 Says you're the most promising producer that he's ever fired. 167 00:10:01,971 --> 00:10:05,236 Well, that's, that's good. I think. 168 00:10:05,608 --> 00:10:07,439 So you're a fan of our morning program? 169 00:10:07,577 --> 00:10:11,536 - Yeah, I think it has so many... - Yeah, yeah, we know it's terrible. 170 00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:15,777 Perpetually in fourth place behind the Today show, Good Morning America 171 00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:17,852 and that thing on CBS, whatever it's called. 172 00:10:17,987 --> 00:10:20,319 It's a source of constant humiliation. 173 00:10:20,456 --> 00:10:24,051 Last year, in the network softball league, the CBS team wore hats 174 00:10:24,193 --> 00:10:25,956 that said, "At least we're not Daybreak." 175 00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:30,862 The anchors of the show are difficult and semi-talented. 176 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,332 - I think Colleen Peck is a pro. - Heinous. 177 00:10:34,036 --> 00:10:37,199 - Paul McVee is a fine reporter. - Foul. 178 00:10:38,608 --> 00:10:42,408 OK. Is Daybreak a shitty show? Yes. 179 00:10:42,545 --> 00:10:45,946 But it's on a network. And not just any network. 180 00:10:46,082 --> 00:10:49,415 This is one of the most legendary news divisions in the entire history 181 00:10:49,552 --> 00:10:52,043 of television! Daybreak just needs someone who believes in it, 182 00:10:52,188 --> 00:10:55,419 who understands that a national platform is an invaluable resource, 183 00:10:55,558 --> 00:10:59,324 that no story is too low or too high to reach for! 184 00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:02,562 Are you gonna... sing? 185 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,360 Look, Mr. Barnes. Jerry. 186 00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:08,970 Daybreak's facilities are antiquated. 187 00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:13,098 It's understaffed, underfunded. And the pay. 188 00:11:13,576 --> 00:11:14,565 It's awful, about half 189 00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:16,678 of what you made at Hey, How The Hell Are You, New Jersey? 190 00:11:16,813 --> 00:11:20,271 You've never been an executive producer. You're too young. 191 00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:24,682 Nobody's ever heard of ya. And here, your education, three, not four years, 192 00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:26,789 at Fairleigh Dickinson in Teaneck, 193 00:11:26,923 --> 00:11:31,383 also known as Fairly Ridiculous. Did I miss anything? 194 00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,097 Daybreak needs what I need, 195 00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:39,497 someone who believes that it can succeed. 196 00:11:39,635 --> 00:11:42,695 Trust me, I know you don't have any reason to believe in me, 197 00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:45,399 but I work harder than anyone else. 198 00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,133 I'm in first, I'm out last. 199 00:11:47,276 --> 00:11:49,904 I know a shitload more about the news than someone whose daddy paid them 200 00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:52,446 to smoke bongs and talk semiotics at Harvard 201 00:11:52,582 --> 00:11:55,608 and I devote myself completely to my job. It's what I do. 202 00:11:55,751 --> 00:11:58,117 It's all I am. I... 203 00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:01,186 You can ask anyone. 204 00:12:02,425 --> 00:12:06,828 Well, that's... embarrassing. 205 00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:12,190 OK. 206 00:12:12,935 --> 00:12:14,459 Thanks for the tour, 207 00:12:14,604 --> 00:12:19,701 and... thanks for... for... 208 00:12:19,842 --> 00:12:21,241 Thanks. 209 00:12:34,657 --> 00:12:37,182 It's these buttons right here. 210 00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:40,887 Oh, lobby. Yes, thanks. 211 00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,133 Good day so far? 212 00:12:46,168 --> 00:12:48,602 I don't think so. 213 00:12:48,738 --> 00:12:51,332 I talked too much. Ruined it. 214 00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:54,538 Damn it. 215 00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:06,447 Sir. 216 00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:10,885 I am such a huge admirer of yours. 217 00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:15,225 I'm a... I'm a big, huge fan. I... 218 00:13:15,364 --> 00:13:18,162 My whole family watched you, growing up. I... 219 00:13:18,301 --> 00:13:22,362 Of all the anchors, you were, by far, the greatest reporter. 220 00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:26,066 I mean when you were in Kosovo, I was in Kosovo. 221 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,608 - She work for you? - No. 222 00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:31,042 I'm just here to teach her how to use the elevator. 223 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,340 Are you done? 224 00:13:33,282 --> 00:13:35,716 Yes, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 225 00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:37,341 May I? 226 00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:38,578 Oh, God, sorry. I... 227 00:13:38,721 --> 00:13:41,019 Of course, of course. 228 00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:43,318 Oh, my God, I can't believe I just met the... 229 00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:45,620 - Wait a second. You know him. - Yes, I do know him. 230 00:13:45,761 --> 00:13:48,457 He's the third worst person in the world. 231 00:14:06,616 --> 00:14:09,278 - Hello? - Becky Fuller. 232 00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:12,182 - Yes? - You sure you can do this job? 233 00:14:12,321 --> 00:14:13,754 Yes. 234 00:14:13,889 --> 00:14:16,687 - You start on Monday. - Thank you. 235 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,927 Yes, I am calling about the one-bedroom. 236 00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:31,506 Yes, I'm moving into town. I've got a new job. 237 00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:32,972 I'm extremely neat and tidy. 238 00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:36,934 In summer camp the kids used to pay me to make their beds. 239 00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:39,547 Yeah. Sorry, that was an overshare. 240 00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:41,343 No loud music. No kids. 241 00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:43,816 I don't even have a boyfriend. Just me. 242 00:14:43,953 --> 00:14:45,978 I'll take it. I'll take it, I'll take it. 243 00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,064 Sorry! 244 00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:06,469 Sorry! 245 00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:09,636 Sorry! 246 00:15:23,492 --> 00:15:25,756 Also, we'll have more on the flooding in Iowa. 247 00:15:25,895 --> 00:15:28,693 Finally, some good weather news on the way for those folks. 248 00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:31,664 So please join us tomorrow and thank you for spending 249 00:15:31,801 --> 00:15:34,235 - your morning here at Daybreak. - Take care, everyone. 250 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,463 - Are you interviewing at Daybreak? - Goodbye. 251 00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:38,402 Assistant? Intern? 252 00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:41,872 No. Actually, I'm the new executive producer. 253 00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:43,478 Another one? 254 00:15:46,816 --> 00:15:48,113 Don't unpack. 255 00:15:49,652 --> 00:15:52,212 Miss Fuller? Lenny Bergman, Senior Producer. 256 00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:55,152 Yes. I know who you are. 257 00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,953 You started out at WABC. You were at CBS for two years 258 00:15:58,094 --> 00:16:00,324 - and here for 13. - Yeah, wow. 259 00:16:00,463 --> 00:16:03,261 - Here, let me, let me give you a hand. - I just have one question. 260 00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:05,833 Why haven't they bumped you up? 261 00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:08,766 It's not for me. I did it for a couple of weeks once, 262 00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:12,362 but they put me back at number two. Apparently, the crying was distracting. 263 00:16:12,508 --> 00:16:14,237 You'll love it, though. It's a great job. 264 00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:18,039 - Our morning meetings are at five. - Isn't that kind of late? 265 00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,478 - Late? - I mean, it's just that... 266 00:16:20,616 --> 00:16:24,108 I'm, I'm used to early hours, so... 267 00:16:24,253 --> 00:16:26,949 Well, maybe we should try better doughnuts. 268 00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:30,058 Excuse me. At the Today show, 269 00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:32,558 the senior staff is usually... Hi... in by 4:30... 270 00:16:32,695 --> 00:16:35,391 We're just like the Today show, except, you know, without the money, 271 00:16:35,531 --> 00:16:37,795 - viewers, respect. But very similar. - OK. 272 00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:42,632 OK? That's... that's one of our good doorknobs. 273 00:16:42,772 --> 00:16:44,103 Let me take care of this. 274 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,607 Colleen Peck has been here forever. Don't mention that. 275 00:16:47,743 --> 00:16:50,405 But McVee is paid more. Don't mention that, either. 276 00:16:50,546 --> 00:16:52,138 They hate each other. Don't mention that. 277 00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:55,114 But that's because Colleen hates everybody. Don't mention that. 278 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:58,550 And she used to sleep with McVee, who threw her over for her assistant. 279 00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:00,086 - Do not mention that. - Got it. 280 00:17:00,222 --> 00:17:01,951 - After you talk to Colleen... - Yeah, yeah? 281 00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:05,219 Make sure you get me before you talk to McVee, so I can go with ya. 282 00:17:05,361 --> 00:17:08,728 - Why? - I don't... Just trust me, OK? 283 00:17:08,864 --> 00:17:10,354 - OK. - OK. 284 00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:11,523 - OK. - Good. 285 00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,465 - Can I just... - Sure. OK, you ready? 286 00:17:14,603 --> 00:17:16,264 - I'm ready. - Good luck. 287 00:17:23,112 --> 00:17:25,637 Do you know how many EP's I've had in the past 11 years? 288 00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:28,980 Fourteen. 289 00:17:29,118 --> 00:17:32,053 If they're stupid, they get fired, and if they're smart, they quit. 290 00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:34,679 And now look what I get. 291 00:17:36,826 --> 00:17:37,815 Well... 292 00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:40,155 - It's a pleasure... - You think it's fun being 293 00:17:40,296 --> 00:17:42,491 in last place? Do you think I enjoy working 294 00:17:42,631 --> 00:17:45,794 for a network that spends more on one episode of a dating show 295 00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:48,301 about a bachelor dwarf than our entire weekly budget? 296 00:17:48,437 --> 00:17:50,871 - No... - And I've never had a decent 297 00:17:51,006 --> 00:17:53,338 - co-anchor ever! - We're gonna change... 298 00:17:53,475 --> 00:17:58,538 Just a revolving door of cretinous morons. Our ratings are in the crapper. 299 00:17:58,681 --> 00:18:02,082 I mean, how long can this show limp along like this? 300 00:18:02,218 --> 00:18:05,312 I know that everyone's been through a lot, and I know that there's been 301 00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:07,319 so many challenges along the way. But, you know... 302 00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:09,583 You will fail like everyone else 303 00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:12,216 and then you'll be gone, like everyone else. 304 00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:16,320 But I will still be here, pulling the train up the hill with my teeth. 305 00:18:16,465 --> 00:18:18,262 You think it's fun getting your ass kicked? 306 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,265 - No... - Welcome to Daybreak. 307 00:18:20,402 --> 00:18:23,200 Enjoy the pain, Gidget. 308 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,041 No! It's OK. I have it! I've done this a zillion times and... 309 00:18:28,177 --> 00:18:30,270 - I'm gonna fix that and... - See ya later! 310 00:18:30,412 --> 00:18:31,640 Good talking to you. 311 00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:39,749 Paul! Hi! I'm... I'm Becky Fuller. 312 00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:43,518 Your new EP. Thrilled to meet you. 313 00:18:43,659 --> 00:18:46,719 I was just thinking maybe we could go over a few ideas. 314 00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:47,988 I was thinking maybe we could 315 00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:50,189 get you on the street and do some remotes. 316 00:18:50,332 --> 00:18:53,699 Yeah, I don't like to leave the studio. I like climate control. 317 00:18:53,836 --> 00:18:58,796 But, if you want, we could discuss this further privately. 318 00:19:00,843 --> 00:19:02,606 What size are your feet? 319 00:19:02,745 --> 00:19:04,770 - You wear about a six and half? Seven? - Pardon? 320 00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:07,781 How do you feel about having them photographed? 321 00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:10,852 Good? Feel good about that? 322 00:19:10,986 --> 00:19:12,544 You should. I keep 'em very classy. 323 00:19:12,688 --> 00:19:14,588 I... don't... 324 00:19:14,723 --> 00:19:16,782 Can I show you my blog? "Sexy Feet?" 325 00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:18,553 - No. - Yes? 326 00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:19,752 No. 327 00:19:19,895 --> 00:19:21,487 - I met Paul. - You talked to him alone? 328 00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:23,530 - I told you to come see me first. - I know, but... 329 00:19:23,666 --> 00:19:27,500 What was I gonna do? Hi, everyone. Hi, I'm Becky. 330 00:19:27,636 --> 00:19:29,194 Hi. Good morning. 331 00:19:29,338 --> 00:19:33,297 Oh, God, look who's here. I mean not here. 332 00:19:33,442 --> 00:19:35,137 McVee. So shocking, huh? 333 00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:39,145 Yeah, well, Mr. McVee doesn't always come to these things. 334 00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:43,149 Oh, could you tell Paul that we need him, please? Thanks. 335 00:19:43,285 --> 00:19:46,049 OK, so let's just dive in, shall we? 336 00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:48,988 Who wants to start? 337 00:19:49,124 --> 00:19:50,785 Tomorrow Rocco DiSpirito wants to make lasagna. 338 00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:52,985 I told him we did that last week with the Barefoot Contessa, 339 00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:55,596 - but he's insisting. What do I do? - For the segment on miniskirts, 340 00:19:55,731 --> 00:19:58,427 - do you want all size models? - Next week, I want to do a piece 341 00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,398 on juice cleanses. All the celebs are doing them 342 00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:02,504 and they have amazing powers of rejuvenization. 343 00:20:02,638 --> 00:20:05,198 My idea is that I get a juice cleanse and then we can, like, 344 00:20:05,341 --> 00:20:07,707 - measure my toxins... - For the Carville interview... 345 00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:10,141 I'm sorry, Lisa, do you want the living room set or the stools? 346 00:20:10,279 --> 00:20:12,713 ABC says we can't have Eva Longoria until two weeks after 347 00:20:12,848 --> 00:20:14,782 - she does G.M.A. What do we do? - On psychic animals, 348 00:20:14,917 --> 00:20:16,714 would you prefer a parakeet or an iguana? 349 00:20:16,852 --> 00:20:18,877 I'd like to do a piece on weathervanes. They are fascinating. 350 00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:21,489 Like did you know the word "vane" comes from the Old English "fana", 351 00:20:21,623 --> 00:20:24,649 - which means flag or weathercock? - Friday, for cooking with squash, 352 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,886 - inside or on the plaza? - They're offering us the third 353 00:20:27,029 --> 00:20:28,963 lead in the new Patrick Dempsey movie. Do you want him? 354 00:20:29,098 --> 00:20:31,066 Great story out of Tampa about a retirement account scandal. 355 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,293 But we got to move quick. Should we send a team or just local talent? 356 00:20:33,435 --> 00:20:35,198 ...control room's on the fritz. Ten grand to fix it. 357 00:20:35,337 --> 00:20:38,306 For that piece on baby food, do we want an actual baby, 358 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,840 and if so, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, 359 00:20:40,976 --> 00:20:43,467 blonde hair, brown hair, teeth, or no teeth? 360 00:20:43,612 --> 00:20:45,512 I have a black baby at home. 361 00:20:49,518 --> 00:20:52,043 I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying. I... 362 00:20:52,187 --> 00:20:54,951 Hello! Hi, hi. Does someone wanna tell me why I had to log off 363 00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,990 BangingGrannies.com for this? 364 00:20:58,494 --> 00:20:59,756 Asshole. 365 00:21:06,068 --> 00:21:08,730 Tell Rocco if he insists on making lasagna, he will be bumped. 366 00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,999 Yes, all size models, but skirts not too short. Toxins? 367 00:21:12,141 --> 00:21:13,768 Who said that? They can't be measured. 368 00:21:13,909 --> 00:21:17,276 And "rejuvenization," not a word. Tell Longoria's people 369 00:21:17,413 --> 00:21:20,439 that she can't plug her next film unless we get her within a week of G.M.A. 370 00:21:20,582 --> 00:21:23,073 Parakeet. Ernie, weathercock? Seriously? 371 00:21:23,218 --> 00:21:25,015 The plaza for squash. I want Patrick Dempsey. 372 00:21:25,154 --> 00:21:27,281 Tell his people we'll run him in the first hour and he can talk about 373 00:21:27,423 --> 00:21:29,914 whatever his thing is. Tampa Bay, definitely local talent. 374 00:21:30,059 --> 00:21:31,686 And we've got to fix that sound board. 375 00:21:31,827 --> 00:21:33,089 Find ten grand in the budget somewhere. 376 00:21:33,228 --> 00:21:35,093 The hair and makeup numbers, those were too high. So, Colleen, could you 377 00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,857 share your hair person with Lisa? 378 00:21:36,999 --> 00:21:39,524 That'd be great, great. OK. Asian baby, no teeth. 379 00:21:39,668 --> 00:21:40,726 - Lesbian parents. - OK. 380 00:21:40,869 --> 00:21:42,894 Did I miss anything? 381 00:21:43,038 --> 00:21:45,370 Oh, Paul! 382 00:21:48,177 --> 00:21:49,371 You're fired. 383 00:21:50,479 --> 00:21:53,380 - You're adorable. - Fired! 384 00:22:05,894 --> 00:22:08,226 I'm sorry. That was unprofessional. 385 00:22:14,570 --> 00:22:17,368 Congratulations. The first day, you flushed your anchor 386 00:22:17,506 --> 00:22:19,167 and you got no money to pay for another one. 387 00:22:19,308 --> 00:22:21,276 He was lowering the morale of the show. 388 00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:22,968 How is that possible? 389 00:22:23,112 --> 00:22:25,171 Look, you must have someone under contract. 390 00:22:25,314 --> 00:22:27,908 A local anchor, a reporter. I'll find someone. 391 00:22:28,050 --> 00:22:30,484 I'll promote from within. That'll be great for morale! 392 00:22:30,619 --> 00:22:33,884 Go nuts. Find somebody great. It just can't cost me a penny. 393 00:22:34,623 --> 00:22:37,091 What if I gave them one of my three pennies? 394 00:22:37,226 --> 00:22:40,559 Whatever it takes. Just get the ratings up. 395 00:22:45,868 --> 00:22:50,168 Lenny, hi. Yeah. Very positive. He thinks we have terrific options. 396 00:22:50,305 --> 00:22:53,103 ...plunge from 200 points right before closing. 397 00:22:53,242 --> 00:22:56,507 - Analysts fear that this... - He's not bad. 398 00:22:56,645 --> 00:22:59,842 Yeah, he's OK. Put a saddle on him, he's good to go. 399 00:22:59,982 --> 00:23:03,611 ...are not happy. - Should we watch 86 again? 400 00:23:03,752 --> 00:23:07,848 I got to get home, see the kids, or the wife is gonna kill me. 401 00:23:07,990 --> 00:23:09,423 You have kids? 402 00:23:10,225 --> 00:23:12,455 What? No. 403 00:23:12,594 --> 00:23:14,459 No? Husband? Boyfriend? 404 00:23:15,230 --> 00:23:17,698 Me? What? No. 405 00:23:17,833 --> 00:23:20,734 - No, I'm sorry. Stupid question. - You know... 406 00:23:20,869 --> 00:23:23,861 - You're hideous and repulsive. - You know what? Forget 86. 407 00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:28,136 I think that we should watch the Miami guy again, 'cause he was, I mean, 408 00:23:28,277 --> 00:23:30,507 you know, he was a little bit tan, but I think... 409 00:23:30,646 --> 00:23:32,477 I think that we could wipe that off, it's probably 410 00:23:32,614 --> 00:23:36,345 just one of those self-tanner things. I could, you know, fix that. 411 00:23:37,352 --> 00:23:38,717 Good night. 412 00:23:39,588 --> 00:23:42,284 Hey, look. It's Mike Pomeroy's fangirl. 413 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,822 - Hello. - Hey. 414 00:23:45,961 --> 00:23:47,019 That was you. 415 00:23:47,162 --> 00:23:49,357 That was really embarrassing. 416 00:23:50,199 --> 00:23:52,360 I may need to have you killed. 417 00:23:53,702 --> 00:23:56,170 I'm... I'm Becky Fuller. Sorry. 418 00:23:56,305 --> 00:23:57,795 "Becky Fuller" Becky Fuller? 419 00:23:57,940 --> 00:24:00,875 The one who took out McVee? You're a legend already. 420 00:24:01,009 --> 00:24:03,000 - Thanks. - I'm Adam Bennett. 421 00:24:03,145 --> 00:24:04,840 I'm a producer upstairs at Seven Days. 422 00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:07,107 - Hello. - So you lookin' for a new anchor? 423 00:24:07,249 --> 00:24:09,774 - Yes. - Not that guy. 424 00:24:09,918 --> 00:24:11,943 You can't use that guy. That's the horse guy. 425 00:24:12,087 --> 00:24:14,783 He's not too bad. I mean, as long as we leave our hand flat 426 00:24:14,923 --> 00:24:17,050 when we feed him a carrot. 427 00:24:17,192 --> 00:24:21,788 - Well, good luck, Becky Fuller. - Thank you, Adam Bennett. 428 00:24:21,930 --> 00:24:25,730 - Need any help? - No. I'm good. Thanks. 429 00:24:26,935 --> 00:24:30,371 The sports guy from St. Louis is not bad. Let's watch him again. 430 00:24:30,505 --> 00:24:33,906 No, we need some gravitas. We need people to trust us. 431 00:24:34,042 --> 00:24:37,876 I mean, if news breaks on the air, we need to be able to cover it credibly. 432 00:24:38,013 --> 00:24:41,540 What, do you actually think that we can cover breaking news? 433 00:24:41,683 --> 00:24:44,277 - God, that's adorable. - Thousands gathered today 434 00:24:44,419 --> 00:24:47,547 to see if the tiny buck-toothed creature would spot his own shadow. 435 00:24:47,689 --> 00:24:50,749 But the sad tooth is, according to Punxsutawney Phil, 436 00:24:50,892 --> 00:24:55,386 this bitter winter is far from over. Back to you, Mike. 437 00:24:58,834 --> 00:24:59,926 What? 438 00:25:00,068 --> 00:25:03,037 Yesterday, the Secretary of State held a top-level 439 00:25:03,171 --> 00:25:05,196 - State Department security brief... - What's funny? 440 00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:08,309 - You put Seabiscuit back in? - But we agree that Hezbollah 441 00:25:08,443 --> 00:25:11,241 has shown a willingness to continue to attack. 442 00:25:11,380 --> 00:25:14,076 - Becky? - Can I call you back? 443 00:25:14,216 --> 00:25:16,582 ...lsraeli incursions. 444 00:25:16,718 --> 00:25:22,156 What steps are you taking to limit these Hezbollah retaliations? 445 00:25:22,291 --> 00:25:24,088 You have Pomeroy under contract, right? 446 00:25:25,093 --> 00:25:28,927 Yeah. He was supposed to do stories for one of our magazine shows. 447 00:25:29,064 --> 00:25:30,929 - Yeah? - We couldn't use anything he pitched. 448 00:25:31,066 --> 00:25:33,261 - Nothing? - An eight-part story 449 00:25:33,402 --> 00:25:36,667 on the United Nations. An interview with a Pashtun warlord. 450 00:25:36,805 --> 00:25:41,367 A piece on microfinance in Asia? It's all been so tempting. 451 00:25:41,510 --> 00:25:43,535 - Jerry! - So we're just paying him to sit there. 452 00:25:43,679 --> 00:25:46,375 Wait. But he must have millions on his contract. 453 00:25:46,515 --> 00:25:48,813 You have a world-caliber news man with nothing to do! 454 00:25:48,950 --> 00:25:50,884 - Becky, this is... - No, Pomeroy has reported 455 00:25:51,019 --> 00:25:55,115 on every major story of the last three decades, with integrity and courage! 456 00:25:55,257 --> 00:25:58,283 I mean, he was the only anchor to go down to Ground Zero on the day. 457 00:25:58,427 --> 00:26:00,657 His Q ratings, I looked at them, they're unbelievable, 458 00:26:00,796 --> 00:26:04,323 - and you're already paying him. - I have to go. We'll discuss this. 459 00:26:04,466 --> 00:26:05,933 I... 460 00:26:06,068 --> 00:26:08,161 I want to look at his contract! 461 00:26:08,303 --> 00:26:10,464 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Hi. 462 00:26:10,605 --> 00:26:15,133 I need your approval to look at his contract. 463 00:26:16,211 --> 00:26:18,042 Please. 464 00:26:44,339 --> 00:26:46,569 Hi. 465 00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:48,141 Hi. 466 00:26:50,312 --> 00:26:52,246 I'm Becky Fuller and... 467 00:26:52,381 --> 00:26:55,077 We actually met the other day in the elevator. 468 00:26:55,217 --> 00:26:58,050 And what the hell are you doing here? 469 00:26:58,186 --> 00:27:01,952 I'm the producer of Daybreak and we're actually looking for a new anchor. 470 00:27:03,325 --> 00:27:05,259 Then why are you here? 471 00:27:05,394 --> 00:27:07,385 Well, it's funny that you should ask. 472 00:27:07,529 --> 00:27:10,293 Go away. 473 00:27:10,432 --> 00:27:13,595 OK, just hear me out, because the show actually has a lot of potential. 474 00:27:13,735 --> 00:27:15,032 We're starting over basically, 475 00:27:15,170 --> 00:27:17,695 and with an anchor as esteemed and respected as yourself... 476 00:27:25,213 --> 00:27:28,148 You've been a journalist your whole life, ever since 477 00:27:28,283 --> 00:27:30,342 your elementary school paper, The Beaverton Bee. 478 00:27:30,485 --> 00:27:33,852 I mean, you've got to miss it. You... News breaks, it must just kill you 479 00:27:33,989 --> 00:27:37,584 - not to be out there. - Morning shows don't do news. 480 00:27:37,726 --> 00:27:42,288 Jesus, Daybreak. Half the people that watch your show have lost their remote. 481 00:27:42,431 --> 00:27:45,662 The other half are waiting for their nurse to turn them over. 482 00:27:45,801 --> 00:27:49,259 If I wanted to come back, I could have any job I chose. 483 00:27:49,404 --> 00:27:52,100 But you can't work on another network for another two years. 484 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,506 So I'll continue to enjoy my life on IBS's dime. 485 00:27:56,645 --> 00:27:58,738 All right, I didn't want to have to do this. 486 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,348 - I looked at your contract. - What? 487 00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:03,849 - With the lawyers. - My contract? 488 00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:06,852 You're right. They do have to pay you for the last two years of your contract. 489 00:28:06,988 --> 00:28:08,387 Unless six months have elapsed 490 00:28:08,523 --> 00:28:10,354 without you appearing on the air in any capacity. 491 00:28:10,492 --> 00:28:12,824 Then, if the network offers you an official position 492 00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:15,452 and you don't take it, they can terminate your contract 493 00:28:15,597 --> 00:28:18,157 and the six million dollars that you have left on it. 494 00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,497 So, here's me with an official offer. 495 00:28:21,636 --> 00:28:25,333 Mike Pomeroy, the IBS network would like to offer you 496 00:28:25,474 --> 00:28:27,942 the position of co-host of Daybreak. 497 00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:34,743 - You're joking. - No. 498 00:28:34,883 --> 00:28:36,214 Actually, I'm not. 499 00:28:37,285 --> 00:28:39,412 Do you have any idea what's going on in the world? 500 00:28:39,554 --> 00:28:43,684 And you want me to do stories about baked Alaska? 501 00:28:43,825 --> 00:28:46,020 After the career that I've had? 502 00:28:47,128 --> 00:28:48,925 You just need to have an open mind. 503 00:28:49,064 --> 00:28:50,497 - Open mind. - I mean, yes, the morning news 504 00:28:50,632 --> 00:28:54,090 - has a wider range of stories... - A wider range?! 505 00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:57,694 Your program is in the news department, you cretin! 506 00:28:57,839 --> 00:29:00,740 News is a sacred temple. 507 00:29:00,876 --> 00:29:04,903 And you're part of the cabal that's ruining it with horseshit! 508 00:29:05,046 --> 00:29:06,411 That's not actually fair. 509 00:29:06,548 --> 00:29:09,813 Because the first half hour of a morning show is a damn fine news broadcast. 510 00:29:09,951 --> 00:29:11,578 Sure, we cover news and entertainment. 511 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,312 That's everything a newspaper has ever done. 512 00:29:13,455 --> 00:29:15,514 There's nothing wrong with that. Think of it this way: 513 00:29:15,657 --> 00:29:17,557 We're like a well-informed neighbor, coming over to chat 514 00:29:17,692 --> 00:29:20,957 with people in the morning. You know, Brokaw did the morning news. 515 00:29:21,096 --> 00:29:23,621 And Charlie Gibson. Walter Cronkite did it at the beginning of his career. 516 00:29:23,765 --> 00:29:26,825 I mean, he co-hosted a morning program with a puppet named Charlemagne. 517 00:29:28,203 --> 00:29:31,400 Well, then... get a puppet. 518 00:29:34,342 --> 00:29:38,278 It's inexpensive and uses things you already have around the house. 519 00:29:38,413 --> 00:29:42,941 You can make globes, hats, especially pinatas. 520 00:29:43,084 --> 00:29:45,609 Now, mache means "to chew" in French, 521 00:29:45,754 --> 00:29:49,747 but we're not actually going to be eating any of this, right? 522 00:29:51,259 --> 00:29:52,248 Of course not! 523 00:29:52,394 --> 00:29:54,225 No. 524 00:29:54,362 --> 00:29:56,626 Coming up next, you've heard her sing. 525 00:29:56,765 --> 00:29:59,393 Well, today, you're going to hear about her sweet tooth. 526 00:29:59,534 --> 00:30:03,903 Join us as we bake brownies with Celine Dion's personal chef. 527 00:30:04,039 --> 00:30:07,270 All that and more, coming up on Daybreak. 528 00:30:07,409 --> 00:30:08,740 - We're clear! - Oh, my God, 529 00:30:08,877 --> 00:30:12,108 will somebody please get this off? Thank you, thank you. 530 00:30:12,247 --> 00:30:14,442 - Thank you very much. - OK, so, we don't have time 531 00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:16,915 for the sit-down, so we're just gonna run the package, all right? 532 00:30:17,052 --> 00:30:19,612 - Are you OK? - What? 533 00:30:19,754 --> 00:30:23,417 Don't beat yourself up. He was never gonna do it. Pomeroy? 534 00:30:23,558 --> 00:30:26,322 - How did you know that? - Mike was never gonna come to work 535 00:30:26,461 --> 00:30:29,157 at this little dog and pony show, especially not working for somebody 536 00:30:29,297 --> 00:30:31,492 - like, well, I'm sorry, but you. - OK. Like, yeah. 537 00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:35,069 You. Not in a thousand years. I mean, obviously, don't get me wrong, 538 00:30:35,203 --> 00:30:40,140 I would have... I would have welcomed him with open arms. 539 00:30:40,275 --> 00:30:41,799 Oh, my God. 540 00:30:49,317 --> 00:30:51,911 I heard he was coming in, but I didn't... 541 00:31:00,962 --> 00:31:03,453 I've won eight Peabodys. 542 00:31:03,598 --> 00:31:05,088 A Pulitzer. 543 00:31:05,233 --> 00:31:07,997 Sixteen Emmys. 544 00:31:08,136 --> 00:31:11,264 I was shot through the forearm in Bosnia. 545 00:31:11,406 --> 00:31:15,103 Pulled Colin Powell from a burning Jeep. 546 00:31:15,243 --> 00:31:19,612 I laid a cool washcloth on Mother Teresa's forehead 547 00:31:19,748 --> 00:31:22,273 during a cholera epidemic. 548 00:31:22,417 --> 00:31:26,217 I've had lunch with Dick Cheney. 549 00:31:28,156 --> 00:31:30,317 You're here for the money. 550 00:31:32,327 --> 00:31:34,090 That is correct. 551 00:31:35,597 --> 00:31:38,498 Five, four, three... 552 00:31:38,967 --> 00:31:39,956 Fuck. 553 00:31:40,969 --> 00:31:42,129 Welcome back to Daybreak. 554 00:31:42,270 --> 00:31:44,898 God, does he cook? Does he do... I don't know, 555 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,337 fashion segments and gossip? 556 00:31:46,474 --> 00:31:50,001 Does he have three-year-old octuplets barf all over him like I did last year? 557 00:31:50,145 --> 00:31:51,578 Well, unfortunately, in the '80s, 558 00:31:51,713 --> 00:31:53,408 someone gave him story refusal rights, so no. 559 00:31:53,548 --> 00:31:56,073 I don't care. Does he know that this is called morning television? 560 00:31:56,217 --> 00:31:58,276 Yes, and I think that after a little bit of time, 561 00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:00,388 he's really gonna want to do a mix of stories. 562 00:32:00,522 --> 00:32:03,457 Face it! I'm going to end up making turkey meatballs with Mario Batali 563 00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:07,049 - for the rest of my natural life. - I need the new titles ASAP. 564 00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:10,221 OK, let's move it. Single malt. We've got the hand soap, 565 00:32:10,365 --> 00:32:12,765 we got the mixers, the papers, the tropical fruit. 566 00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:14,766 Here we go. Whoever heard of mangosteen? 567 00:32:14,903 --> 00:32:18,168 - Apparently, he has. - This is Colleen's dressing room 568 00:32:18,306 --> 00:32:23,334 and... She's so looking forward to seeing you. 569 00:32:23,478 --> 00:32:25,810 Good. Great. Glad to hear it. 570 00:32:27,148 --> 00:32:30,276 And this is mine? 571 00:32:30,418 --> 00:32:34,616 Yes, but Colleen is... Never mind. 572 00:32:35,256 --> 00:32:36,883 You got me the newspapers? 573 00:32:37,025 --> 00:32:38,515 The mixers? 574 00:32:39,527 --> 00:32:41,995 The tropical fruit plate. 575 00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:45,861 All stipulated in your ten-page rider. 576 00:32:46,835 --> 00:32:49,998 - Nice of you. - Yes... 577 00:32:50,138 --> 00:32:54,302 Colleen wants me, I'll be in here. 578 00:32:56,377 --> 00:32:57,366 OK. 579 00:33:01,516 --> 00:33:05,714 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He should come in here. 580 00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:11,220 - OK. - What the hell is that? 581 00:33:11,359 --> 00:33:13,520 No hurry. 582 00:33:15,196 --> 00:33:16,663 No. No and no. 583 00:33:19,434 --> 00:33:20,423 OK. 584 00:33:20,568 --> 00:33:23,799 Did you tell her I have papaya in here? 585 00:33:23,938 --> 00:33:29,001 He gets a tropical fruit plate? That is just so pathetic. 586 00:33:30,311 --> 00:33:31,642 That guy might be our only hope. 587 00:33:31,780 --> 00:33:35,216 So I suggest you just man up and get in there! 588 00:33:35,350 --> 00:33:37,580 That is such a good speech! 589 00:33:37,719 --> 00:33:40,847 Guess what? I'm not going. 590 00:33:49,798 --> 00:33:52,858 So, we'll be shooting Mike's promos all week and then 591 00:33:53,001 --> 00:33:54,593 we'll finalize the format of the show on Friday. 592 00:33:54,736 --> 00:33:56,704 Then we'll rehearse Mike's openings and segues. 593 00:33:56,838 --> 00:34:00,296 Excuse me. Who is going to say goodbye? 594 00:34:01,743 --> 00:34:04,803 - Pardon? - Well, at the end of the show? 595 00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:07,574 It doesn't really matter. 596 00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:10,115 I mean, Mike, you don't mind if Colleen says goodbye? 597 00:34:10,251 --> 00:34:13,049 Well, who do you think the public would rather hear from last? 598 00:34:13,188 --> 00:34:17,625 Someone who's won every broadcast award on the face of the planet 599 00:34:17,759 --> 00:34:21,525 or the former Miss Pacoima? 600 00:34:21,663 --> 00:34:24,029 It's Arizona! 601 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:27,134 In case you're interested, I was Miss Arizona! 602 00:34:29,771 --> 00:34:31,398 Christ! 603 00:34:37,946 --> 00:34:40,676 We can't both have our arms folded. 604 00:34:40,815 --> 00:34:42,544 And I am the female here, I think. 605 00:34:42,684 --> 00:34:45,380 - Colleen on this side. - Of course, I'd be more than happy to. 606 00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:56,664 Can you just step away, just for a second? Thanks. 607 00:34:56,798 --> 00:34:59,926 We don't want to take up your precious... Hello?! 608 00:35:00,068 --> 00:35:04,095 - Is that better? - What's next? Bubble bath? 609 00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:08,298 Hey. Hi! 610 00:35:09,711 --> 00:35:11,736 - Hey. - Hi. 611 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,440 Hey, I just came to... to offer my condolences 612 00:35:14,582 --> 00:35:17,881 on hiring the third worst person in the world. 613 00:35:20,054 --> 00:35:21,544 Thanks. 614 00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:26,422 Yes. I... Who are the other two? 615 00:35:26,928 --> 00:35:31,331 Kim Jong-il and Angela Lansbury, actually. 616 00:35:31,466 --> 00:35:34,458 - She knows what she did. - OK. 617 00:35:34,602 --> 00:35:39,301 So, I... I gather that you worked with Mike at the nightly news. 618 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,637 Worst year of my life. The entire time we worked together, 619 00:35:42,777 --> 00:35:46,042 the only thing he ever called me was Senor Dipshit. 620 00:35:47,582 --> 00:35:48,571 It's not funny. 621 00:35:48,716 --> 00:35:49,842 - I'm sorry, that's not funny. - No. 622 00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:52,214 That's terrible. That is terrible, actually. 623 00:35:52,353 --> 00:35:54,446 Yeah, so... 624 00:35:54,589 --> 00:35:57,319 So now is an excellent time for you to take up drinking. 625 00:35:57,458 --> 00:36:00,894 And... And I came by to say that sometimes after work, 626 00:36:01,029 --> 00:36:03,156 a few of us go over to Schiller's on Madison, 627 00:36:03,298 --> 00:36:07,735 so, you know, if you're ever around... 628 00:36:07,869 --> 00:36:10,463 - Around. - Yeah, available. 629 00:36:10,605 --> 00:36:15,838 Oh, OK. Yeah. That... would be nice. 630 00:36:15,977 --> 00:36:19,572 Yeah, I... I don't, I don't really go out very much, 631 00:36:19,714 --> 00:36:22,080 but if I'm in the neighborhood, 632 00:36:22,216 --> 00:36:24,912 - I will definitely stop by and say hi. - Well, like tomorrow. 633 00:36:25,053 --> 00:36:27,954 - Around eight. - OK. Yeah, sounds good. 634 00:36:28,089 --> 00:36:29,750 - All right. - Sure, yeah. 635 00:36:31,025 --> 00:36:33,084 - Bye. - Bye. 636 00:36:33,227 --> 00:36:36,060 That's not too shabby. You got a new anchor. 637 00:36:36,197 --> 00:36:40,657 Somebody asked you out on a date. Things are lookin' up. 638 00:36:40,802 --> 00:36:43,464 That was... He... Not asking me out on a date. 639 00:36:43,604 --> 00:36:45,538 I think it was. I was standin' right there. 640 00:36:45,673 --> 00:36:47,504 - No, no. - Yeah. 641 00:36:47,642 --> 00:36:51,009 He was just mentioning that he might be somewhere. I mean... 642 00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:54,478 Come on, please, I think I would know if I was being asked out on a date. 643 00:36:54,615 --> 00:36:56,981 - It's a date. - So, we've got the bird whisperer 644 00:36:57,118 --> 00:36:58,813 - confirmed for Tuesday? - Yes. 645 00:36:58,953 --> 00:37:01,217 Great. And... Al Green on the plaza Wednesday. 646 00:37:01,356 --> 00:37:02,550 - Two songs. - OK. 647 00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:05,124 And Colleen, do you want to do the interview between the songs? 648 00:37:08,496 --> 00:37:10,259 No, let me. 649 00:37:14,602 --> 00:37:15,864 Yeah, I'll do it. 650 00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:22,433 OK. Mike, so we have this great story on children's water safety. 651 00:37:23,845 --> 00:37:26,006 - That's the... - Not my thing. 652 00:37:27,515 --> 00:37:31,110 OK, how about a rundown of the new shows on the fall television season? 653 00:37:31,252 --> 00:37:34,016 - Oh, yeah. That's a no. - OK. 654 00:37:34,155 --> 00:37:37,647 The boom in organic farming. Very hot topic right now. 655 00:37:37,792 --> 00:37:40,989 That's newsy, right? 656 00:37:41,129 --> 00:37:43,222 What do you want me to do? Fire another anchor? 657 00:37:43,364 --> 00:37:46,094 Then we're gonna be stuck with that guy who counts with his hooves. 658 00:37:46,234 --> 00:37:48,998 Colleen can't do every story that's not hard news. 659 00:37:49,137 --> 00:37:51,833 It's Mike Pomeroy. He's a legend. What am I supposed to tell him? 660 00:37:51,973 --> 00:37:54,908 - There she is. - What? Oh, hi. 661 00:37:55,043 --> 00:37:57,705 Interesting, Jerry hired you. 662 00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,746 No polish. No pedigree. Those bangs. 663 00:38:02,884 --> 00:38:05,352 What was he thinking? 664 00:38:09,657 --> 00:38:11,522 Just wondering. 665 00:38:13,161 --> 00:38:15,629 - He's a peach. - Yeah. 666 00:38:16,431 --> 00:38:18,194 Coming soon to Daybreak, 667 00:38:18,332 --> 00:38:21,927 one of the most legendary newsmen of all time. 668 00:38:22,070 --> 00:38:25,972 Soon, he'll be bringing his experience to morning television. 669 00:38:26,107 --> 00:38:29,167 Let Mike Pomeroy show you the world 670 00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:31,244 over your first cup of coffee! 671 00:38:31,379 --> 00:38:34,041 - Oh, for Christ's sake. - What? What, what, what is it now? 672 00:38:34,182 --> 00:38:37,208 It's embarrassing. I mean, what's in the briefcase? 673 00:38:37,351 --> 00:38:39,546 - What do you mean? What? - Special anchorman papers? 674 00:38:39,687 --> 00:38:41,245 - It doesn't matter. - My lunch? Where am I going? 675 00:38:41,389 --> 00:38:42,981 - We've been over this eight times! - I'm running to nowhere. 676 00:38:43,124 --> 00:38:45,991 - I look like a jackass! - No... Yes, you do. 677 00:38:47,428 --> 00:38:50,488 You know, whoever gave you promo approval was smoking crack! 678 00:38:50,631 --> 00:38:52,030 - I want to meet that person. - I was mopping the floor 679 00:38:52,166 --> 00:38:53,690 - with Peter Jennings at the time. - I want to have words with... 680 00:38:53,835 --> 00:38:56,395 I could have had hookers and eight balls written into my contract. 681 00:38:56,537 --> 00:38:59,131 - How nice for you. ...over your first cup of coffee. 682 00:38:59,273 --> 00:39:02,731 Why do we have to mention that first cup of coffee? Why not just say, 683 00:39:02,877 --> 00:39:06,278 "Watch Mike Pomeroy before your morning dump?" 684 00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:09,276 One of the most legendary newsmen... 685 00:39:09,417 --> 00:39:12,386 So for the fashion segments, I think it's important that we interpret 686 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,889 runway trends for our viewers because they're not all six foot and size zero. 687 00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:20,516 - Man, he's cute. - I went to Yale with him. 688 00:39:20,661 --> 00:39:21,650 - Shut up. - You did not. 689 00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,263 Everyone was madly in love with him. 690 00:39:23,397 --> 00:39:25,797 Actually, just me and every single person I knew. 691 00:39:25,933 --> 00:39:28,026 - Can we just? - His dad was editor of Newsweek. 692 00:39:28,169 --> 00:39:30,660 His mom's family is rich as hell. They own like Tupperware or something. 693 00:39:30,805 --> 00:39:33,638 He rowed crew for Yale when they won the national championship. 694 00:39:37,111 --> 00:39:38,100 Hi. 695 00:39:41,916 --> 00:39:45,647 - You know him? - No. Yeah, well, yes, I mean, I... 696 00:39:45,786 --> 00:39:47,845 - Yes. - Don't you think he's smokin'? 697 00:39:47,989 --> 00:39:49,923 - Smokin'. - Yeah. 698 00:39:50,057 --> 00:39:53,026 I don't know, I don't know. Let me see. I don't know. 699 00:39:53,161 --> 00:39:55,061 - Not a hard question. - He's walking away. 700 00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:58,632 So jeans and belts. 701 00:39:58,766 --> 00:40:01,394 You have a rash or something spreading on your neck. 702 00:40:17,985 --> 00:40:21,216 Well, you know, I asked him to do a piece on Trump. 703 00:40:21,355 --> 00:40:24,984 And he actually picked up my Diet Coke and hurled it across the room. 704 00:40:25,126 --> 00:40:27,754 - Wow, he picked it up. - Just missed me. He did. 705 00:40:27,895 --> 00:40:30,420 I asked him to cover a bumper crop of cranberries 706 00:40:30,565 --> 00:40:33,261 and he slapped me in the face. 707 00:40:33,401 --> 00:40:35,130 - He did? - It's true. 708 00:40:35,269 --> 00:40:37,533 - Really? - Of course, he was drunk off his ass. 709 00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,696 Adam! 710 00:40:38,839 --> 00:40:40,670 - Hi. - Hi. How are ya? 711 00:40:40,808 --> 00:40:43,675 - I'm good. - Hi. 712 00:40:43,811 --> 00:40:46,405 - You never called me! - I'm sorry. 713 00:40:46,547 --> 00:40:49,380 We... I was... I've been workin' a lot. 714 00:40:49,517 --> 00:40:52,850 Well, maybe I'll see you at Barton's regatta party on Saturday. 715 00:40:52,987 --> 00:40:54,545 - Great, great. - OK, great. 716 00:40:54,689 --> 00:40:55,849 Yeah, cool. 717 00:40:57,325 --> 00:41:00,351 - Sorry, I was just... - That's OK. 718 00:41:00,494 --> 00:41:02,462 Absolutely fine. That's fine, fine. 719 00:41:02,597 --> 00:41:04,155 - Bye. - See you later. 720 00:41:07,335 --> 00:41:12,637 - Yeah. - So, anyway, 721 00:41:12,773 --> 00:41:15,537 the reason that I came by tonight, 722 00:41:15,676 --> 00:41:19,305 was because I don't really know that many people who know Mike, 723 00:41:19,447 --> 00:41:22,746 and I thought, that, you know, I could get your professional feedback. 724 00:41:22,883 --> 00:41:25,784 - My feedback? - Yeah, you know. 725 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,981 I mean, 'cause I'm actually new in town and I don't... 726 00:41:30,124 --> 00:41:31,887 - Come on. - No, please. 727 00:41:32,026 --> 00:41:34,620 ...have that many work contacts, so... 728 00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:38,721 Great. So... we'll be contacts? 729 00:41:38,866 --> 00:41:40,595 That would be great. 730 00:41:40,735 --> 00:41:43,067 Well, you can never have enough of those. 731 00:41:44,205 --> 00:41:45,297 No, you can't. 732 00:41:45,439 --> 00:41:48,169 So, definitely be seeing you around. 733 00:41:48,309 --> 00:41:49,901 - OK. - OK. 734 00:42:00,254 --> 00:42:01,516 Shit. 735 00:42:03,491 --> 00:42:05,823 OK. Good rehearsal. Good stuff. 736 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,953 So let's just alternate the voiceover intros of the headlines. 737 00:42:10,097 --> 00:42:12,190 - OK. - And then ad-lib. 738 00:42:12,333 --> 00:42:15,427 So, let's say, for example, we're doing a story about, I don't know, 739 00:42:15,569 --> 00:42:18,094 - a midterm election. - But we won't. 740 00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:19,797 Because the morning shows don't do news. 741 00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:22,932 Pompous. That's really interesting. That's a different color for you. 742 00:42:23,077 --> 00:42:26,569 - That's... - OK, and you two should just sort of, 743 00:42:26,714 --> 00:42:28,978 you know, banter back and forth a little bit. 744 00:42:29,116 --> 00:42:32,552 Banter, from the Latin word, meaning "to gibber like a moron?" 745 00:42:32,687 --> 00:42:34,587 Just, you know, talk about the headlines. 746 00:42:34,722 --> 00:42:37,020 That's... that's what I mean. 747 00:42:37,158 --> 00:42:40,127 I'm not gonna sit here and rehearse like I'm in summer stock. 748 00:42:40,261 --> 00:42:42,491 I've been on the air for 40 years, for Christ's sake. 749 00:42:42,630 --> 00:42:44,325 I think I know how to ad-lib. 750 00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:48,393 The spill began when the tanker was damaged 751 00:42:48,536 --> 00:42:50,970 in heavy seas outside Galveston. 752 00:42:51,572 --> 00:42:52,800 Knock, knock. 753 00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:54,464 Can I come in? 754 00:42:56,077 --> 00:42:58,545 I just wanted to say, 755 00:42:58,679 --> 00:43:01,671 you know, good luck. 756 00:43:03,217 --> 00:43:05,378 Colleen's Pap smear. 757 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,818 A television classic. 758 00:43:10,391 --> 00:43:11,756 Are you drunk? 759 00:43:11,892 --> 00:43:14,326 Insufficiently. 760 00:43:14,462 --> 00:43:17,522 Current weather conditions are complicating efforts 761 00:43:17,665 --> 00:43:20,031 ...to contain the... - That's my chair. 762 00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:21,862 What? 763 00:43:22,002 --> 00:43:25,665 That's where I belong. There. 764 00:43:25,806 --> 00:43:27,273 ...authorities have asked the federal government... 765 00:43:27,408 --> 00:43:30,172 Took it away from me, those motherfu... 766 00:43:30,311 --> 00:43:31,903 I think maybe you should just go home... 767 00:43:32,046 --> 00:43:34,276 - See this? - Yes. What is that? 768 00:43:34,415 --> 00:43:37,384 Forty-year-old Bruichladdich. 769 00:43:37,518 --> 00:43:41,079 I only drink this when I'm practically suicidal. 770 00:43:41,989 --> 00:43:43,479 OK. 771 00:43:44,725 --> 00:43:46,522 You're, you're very funny. 772 00:43:48,529 --> 00:43:51,862 Well, I'm gonna see you tomorrow... right? 773 00:43:51,999 --> 00:43:54,229 ...is almost impossible to calculate. 774 00:44:22,263 --> 00:44:23,252 Hi. 775 00:44:23,397 --> 00:44:24,796 - Hi. - Hi. 776 00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:27,400 Hi. I... 777 00:44:27,535 --> 00:44:31,096 Sorry. I thought that I might swing by to... 778 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:34,764 ...see if... 779 00:44:37,378 --> 00:44:39,312 What are you working on? 780 00:44:40,481 --> 00:44:41,675 We're working on a piece 781 00:44:41,816 --> 00:44:43,716 on the communist rebels in the Philippines. 782 00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:46,911 Good. That sounds great. So I went to the bar the other night to see you. 783 00:44:47,054 --> 00:44:50,251 Yeah, I could tell. By the way you ran in the other direction. 784 00:44:50,391 --> 00:44:52,450 Your arms, pinwheeling. 785 00:44:57,064 --> 00:44:59,089 Yeah. OK, fair, true. 786 00:45:01,569 --> 00:45:03,298 I think that you're sort of... 787 00:45:04,505 --> 00:45:06,439 ...comically great. 788 00:45:06,574 --> 00:45:10,101 And I thought it seemed so promising so I bungled it, 789 00:45:10,244 --> 00:45:12,075 because that's what I do. I bungle things. 790 00:45:12,213 --> 00:45:15,580 I bungle and I ramble, and that's kind of like what I'm doing right now, 791 00:45:15,716 --> 00:45:18,879 talking about it. You threw me off guard. 792 00:45:19,019 --> 00:45:21,214 You, with your... 793 00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:23,482 And the... and the, this... 794 00:45:23,624 --> 00:45:24,716 And the... 795 00:45:26,227 --> 00:45:28,457 My working on a loom? 796 00:45:28,596 --> 00:45:30,621 - My, my... - No. 797 00:45:30,764 --> 00:45:34,723 ...double-handed craps. My... - I... 798 00:45:34,869 --> 00:45:37,963 - My Jazzercise. - Rowing. Rowing. 799 00:45:38,105 --> 00:45:39,697 - Rowing? - Championship? 800 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,638 I never would have got that. 801 00:45:42,776 --> 00:45:44,744 But you know what I mean. 802 00:45:44,879 --> 00:45:50,010 That I didn't think that you... liked me. 803 00:45:50,150 --> 00:45:53,483 But I do. Oddly. 804 00:45:53,621 --> 00:45:56,215 You're... different. 805 00:45:56,357 --> 00:45:58,450 And a deeply terrible mime. 806 00:45:59,393 --> 00:46:02,191 Well, I asked you out. Then when I saw you at the bar, 807 00:46:02,329 --> 00:46:05,230 I practically tackled you to the ground. What part of that was confusing? 808 00:46:05,366 --> 00:46:07,664 Here, here, here, sit down. 809 00:46:07,801 --> 00:46:11,601 Look, my radar for that kind of thing is so bad. 810 00:46:11,739 --> 00:46:15,334 I mean, I don't know if a man's interested in me until he's naked. 811 00:46:15,476 --> 00:46:17,205 I mean, the pants come off and then I'm like, 812 00:46:17,344 --> 00:46:19,778 "I guess you don't really want to see my CD collection 813 00:46:19,914 --> 00:46:24,044 - or talk about Kerouac." - You're nuts. 814 00:46:26,053 --> 00:46:28,044 OK, look. 815 00:46:28,188 --> 00:46:30,019 Let's start over. 816 00:46:30,157 --> 00:46:33,183 Let's go out to dinner like... regular people. 817 00:46:33,327 --> 00:46:36,057 Just take it slowly, just see where it leads. 818 00:46:36,196 --> 00:46:41,498 - How does that sound? - That sounds perfect. 819 00:46:46,206 --> 00:46:48,299 Oh, God, I should go home. 820 00:46:49,443 --> 00:46:51,377 It's eight! It's eight already. 821 00:46:51,512 --> 00:46:55,004 - I know. - It's Mike's first day tomorrow. 822 00:46:55,149 --> 00:46:56,912 - You should definitely go. - What's the big whoop? 823 00:46:57,051 --> 00:46:59,713 I mean, you know, he's done this like a million times before. 824 00:46:59,853 --> 00:47:02,151 - Yeah. - And he knows exactly what he's doing. 825 00:47:02,289 --> 00:47:03,654 - Yeah. - So... 826 00:47:03,791 --> 00:47:04,849 It's fine. 827 00:47:10,130 --> 00:47:12,792 He didn't open a bottle of 40-year-old Bruichladdich, did he? 828 00:47:14,068 --> 00:47:15,433 How do you know that? 829 00:47:17,605 --> 00:47:19,038 What? 830 00:47:19,773 --> 00:47:21,172 When I was working with him, 831 00:47:21,308 --> 00:47:24,505 if there was something that he didn't want to do, the Oscars, 832 00:47:24,645 --> 00:47:27,443 the Olympics, something that people might actually get a tiny twinge 833 00:47:27,581 --> 00:47:31,677 of pleasure from, the night before, he would go on a bender. 834 00:47:32,219 --> 00:47:35,279 Call in sick for work the next day. 835 00:47:36,123 --> 00:47:39,650 No. No, no. This is ridiculous. I'm not... 836 00:47:39,793 --> 00:47:41,818 I'm not going out there and chasing him around. 837 00:47:41,962 --> 00:47:45,420 If he wants to screw this up, that is his problem. 838 00:47:49,303 --> 00:47:52,670 - Start at Elaine's. - Oh, God, thank you. Thank you. 839 00:47:54,274 --> 00:47:56,003 I'm sorry. 840 00:47:56,143 --> 00:47:58,008 We'll do it again sometime. 841 00:48:06,253 --> 00:48:07,777 Thanks. 842 00:48:10,357 --> 00:48:11,449 - Pomeroy? - Yeah. 843 00:48:11,592 --> 00:48:13,457 He was here. He left about an hour ago. 844 00:48:43,757 --> 00:48:45,816 Oh, no. The little woman. 845 00:48:46,727 --> 00:48:49,059 - Incoming. - Jesus Christ, Pomeroy, 846 00:48:49,196 --> 00:48:51,027 they're getting younger and younger. 847 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,068 Mike... I need to talk to you. 848 00:48:56,203 --> 00:48:59,229 Why? Is the baby mine? 849 00:49:00,574 --> 00:49:04,203 I will have you know that this show is very important to a lot of people, 850 00:49:04,344 --> 00:49:08,644 including but not limited to me. My ass is on the line here. 851 00:49:08,782 --> 00:49:11,808 Actually, your ass is irrelevant. 852 00:49:11,952 --> 00:49:14,580 You're just a footnote. It's my ass, 853 00:49:14,722 --> 00:49:18,419 my reputation, my integrity, mine! 854 00:49:18,559 --> 00:49:21,187 "Mine!" You're such an egotistical, selfish person! 855 00:49:21,328 --> 00:49:23,319 I'm on-air talent! 856 00:49:27,201 --> 00:49:28,896 Get in. 857 00:49:30,337 --> 00:49:31,565 Hey! 858 00:49:35,843 --> 00:49:38,243 OK, I'm home. You can leave. 859 00:49:38,378 --> 00:49:40,642 Oh, no. No. 860 00:49:45,119 --> 00:49:46,416 Wow. 861 00:49:53,761 --> 00:49:55,752 Oh, my God. 862 00:50:00,033 --> 00:50:02,001 - Is that a real... - Good night 863 00:50:02,136 --> 00:50:04,036 Of course. 864 00:50:07,141 --> 00:50:11,271 Here we are Just about the same 865 00:50:13,380 --> 00:50:15,507 You're alone tonight? 866 00:50:17,851 --> 00:50:19,284 Makes sense. 867 00:50:20,788 --> 00:50:22,688 Let me guess. 868 00:50:24,525 --> 00:50:26,356 You meet a guy. 869 00:50:26,493 --> 00:50:29,053 You have about three dates. 870 00:50:29,196 --> 00:50:32,063 Spend the whole time talking about your job. 871 00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:35,558 He loses your phone number. 872 00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:42,506 Aside from your obvious father issues, 873 00:50:42,643 --> 00:50:44,338 what'd he do? 874 00:50:44,478 --> 00:50:46,503 Leave you? Die? 875 00:50:46,647 --> 00:50:50,606 You've got this... repellent moxie. 876 00:50:50,751 --> 00:50:53,015 Look at all the stories you could be doing here. 877 00:50:53,153 --> 00:50:57,817 About art and hunting and fishing. 878 00:50:57,958 --> 00:51:00,688 I mean, you have grandchildren. 879 00:51:00,828 --> 00:51:03,160 I didn't even know you had kids. 880 00:51:04,264 --> 00:51:06,232 Look, we could be doing parenting segments. 881 00:51:06,366 --> 00:51:08,766 You should invite them down to the show. 882 00:51:10,671 --> 00:51:13,003 The ungrateful little bastards. 883 00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:14,937 I don't think so. 884 00:51:15,075 --> 00:51:17,305 Well, the little tour's over. 885 00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:20,812 Time to go back to your sad little life. 886 00:51:20,948 --> 00:51:24,213 I'm not going anywhere until we are on the air. 887 00:51:24,351 --> 00:51:26,717 Well, please don't snore. I'm a light sleeper. 888 00:51:26,854 --> 00:51:28,822 I'm not going to be sleeping. 889 00:51:28,956 --> 00:51:30,184 Just about the same 890 00:51:30,324 --> 00:51:34,886 Foggy little fella Drowsy little dame 891 00:51:35,028 --> 00:51:39,658 Two sleepy people by dawn's early light 892 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,768 And too much in love to say good night 893 00:51:41,902 --> 00:51:42,960 Good night. 894 00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:45,697 - Good night. - Good night. 895 00:52:43,297 --> 00:52:45,094 Let's go, girl. 896 00:52:53,774 --> 00:52:56,572 - What are you doing? - Have you ever seen a real egg? 897 00:52:56,710 --> 00:52:59,804 These are from pastured hens in Maryland. 898 00:52:59,947 --> 00:53:04,350 - We have to go. - I have them delivered once a week. 899 00:53:04,484 --> 00:53:06,645 We have to go. 900 00:53:06,787 --> 00:53:09,722 Now, the beauty of a frittata 901 00:53:09,856 --> 00:53:12,416 is that it can be made with any ingredient. 902 00:53:12,559 --> 00:53:14,959 Anything that's in your refrigerator. 903 00:53:15,095 --> 00:53:17,791 - Good. Get dressed. - What? You want me to starve? 904 00:53:17,931 --> 00:53:20,263 I've got to be in tip-top shape. 905 00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,767 I'm going to appear on national television in front of... 906 00:53:23,904 --> 00:53:28,034 - What, six or eight people? - Mike, come on. 907 00:53:29,242 --> 00:53:30,766 Coffee? 908 00:53:30,911 --> 00:53:34,870 What few people know is that the frittata 909 00:53:35,015 --> 00:53:38,007 was meant to be eaten at room temperature. 910 00:53:38,151 --> 00:53:40,210 - It was invented in Italy... - Come on. 911 00:53:40,354 --> 00:53:43,619 ...for the afternoon repast. - Look, guess what? 912 00:53:43,757 --> 00:53:46,089 I don't really care about your epicurean breakfast, OK? 913 00:53:46,226 --> 00:53:49,024 I just need you to walk faster, because we are going to be late. 914 00:53:51,832 --> 00:53:54,733 Hey. Hello, there. 915 00:53:54,868 --> 00:53:57,564 - Where the hell have you been? - It's a long story. 916 00:53:57,704 --> 00:53:59,467 She spent the night at my place. 917 00:54:05,679 --> 00:54:08,546 Come on, everyone. I slept on the couch. 918 00:54:08,682 --> 00:54:13,312 Until I woke her up with my... African rain stick. 919 00:54:17,324 --> 00:54:21,920 All right. OK. It's Mike's first show, so it's a really big day for us. 920 00:54:22,062 --> 00:54:24,587 - Fire me today. - Yeah, so let's go... 921 00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:26,096 through the lineup from the top. 922 00:54:26,333 --> 00:54:27,265 One more time. 923 00:54:27,401 --> 00:54:30,393 We start with eight, full track. We'll be cutting to nine with announce. 924 00:54:30,537 --> 00:54:33,005 Nine will reveal the jib. Jib, start a little wider. 925 00:54:33,140 --> 00:54:36,303 OK. What are they promo-ing on the Today show today? 926 00:54:36,443 --> 00:54:38,434 - What aren't they promo-ing? - What? 927 00:54:39,913 --> 00:54:41,710 Crap. No. Vieira scored that interview 928 00:54:41,848 --> 00:54:45,215 with the drunk-driving Playboy Playmate? What's on G.M. A? 929 00:54:45,352 --> 00:54:47,912 - Well, she's doin' Clooney. Yeah. - Bitch. 930 00:54:48,055 --> 00:54:51,582 Try not to bore the nation into a coma with your dull news crap, OK? 931 00:54:51,725 --> 00:54:53,693 Yes, certainly. 932 00:54:53,827 --> 00:54:56,625 Oh, and... suck it. 933 00:54:57,931 --> 00:55:01,025 Well, they look great together, so that's promising. 934 00:55:01,168 --> 00:55:02,897 Oh, heavenly ghost of Edward R. Murrow. 935 00:55:03,036 --> 00:55:06,130 OK, the Jewish guy is crossing himself, so we're confident. 936 00:55:06,273 --> 00:55:08,002 Thirty seconds to air. Everybody ready? 937 00:55:08,141 --> 00:55:09,267 They know about the cake? 938 00:55:09,409 --> 00:55:11,741 Everybody does? Stage manager's got that covered? Good. 939 00:55:11,878 --> 00:55:14,244 - Cake is good to go. D-Day. - I want the double matte through 940 00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:18,112 both names, both names. Great. OK, stand by... 941 00:55:18,251 --> 00:55:20,776 Stand by, ticker. Stand by, Deko, that's great. 942 00:55:20,921 --> 00:55:22,650 - You ready for this? - I'm ready. Are you ready? 943 00:55:22,789 --> 00:55:25,883 Stand by, announce. Ready to roll nine. 944 00:55:26,026 --> 00:55:28,426 Here we go and roll nine. Take nine. 945 00:55:28,562 --> 00:55:31,053 - We're good so far. - Stand by to go on four. 946 00:55:31,198 --> 00:55:33,257 - And... here we go. ...on Daybreak. 947 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,697 - And go on four. - Seven. 948 00:55:34,835 --> 00:55:36,166 - Reveals four. - There they are. 949 00:55:36,303 --> 00:55:39,238 - Five. - Four, three... 950 00:55:39,372 --> 00:55:43,138 ...and Mike Pomeroy. - Go dissolve to Mike and cue them. 951 00:55:43,276 --> 00:55:44,504 Good morning, everyone. 952 00:55:44,644 --> 00:55:48,876 Before we begin, today is a historic moment here on Daybreak. 953 00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:52,781 Today's the day that Mike Pomeroy joins our little show. 954 00:55:52,919 --> 00:55:56,355 We are so lucky to have a journalist of your caliber here with us, Mike. 955 00:55:56,490 --> 00:55:59,084 We're just... what can we say except, welcome, welcome. 956 00:55:59,226 --> 00:56:01,524 Yes. 957 00:56:01,661 --> 00:56:03,788 - He said yes. - That's it? 958 00:56:03,930 --> 00:56:06,865 - Yes? He said yes. - Yes. You got to be kidding me. 959 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,297 - That's great. - That's all it is. 960 00:56:08,435 --> 00:56:10,630 - Bring on the cake. - We have a little surprise for you. 961 00:56:10,770 --> 00:56:14,706 - Push in the cake. - Happy First Day to you 962 00:56:14,841 --> 00:56:17,776 - Happy First Day to you - Ready three on Jane. 963 00:56:17,911 --> 00:56:21,142 - Happy First... - Thank you. 964 00:56:21,281 --> 00:56:23,681 - Now on to today's top stories. - Go, take it. 965 00:56:23,817 --> 00:56:27,776 In Texas today, severe weather continues to plague the Gulf Coast. 966 00:56:27,921 --> 00:56:30,617 He's not buyin' it. Wow. 967 00:56:30,757 --> 00:56:33,521 OK, all right, very good. So far, he's a cozy blanket. 968 00:56:33,660 --> 00:56:36,322 I need 22. Great. 969 00:56:36,463 --> 00:56:39,125 ...sexual offender is a Caucasian male in his late thirties, 970 00:56:39,266 --> 00:56:42,463 approximately six feet tall. He apparently works alone, 971 00:56:42,602 --> 00:56:45,833 gaining access to homes through unlocked windows and doors. 972 00:56:45,972 --> 00:56:47,667 - Stand by to change. - Local police in Milwaukee 973 00:56:47,807 --> 00:56:51,334 are asking anyone who recognizes this sketch to contact them immediately. 974 00:56:51,478 --> 00:56:53,946 - Change your graphic. And change it. - In other news, 975 00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,607 former President Jimmy Carter continued his campaign 976 00:56:57,751 --> 00:56:59,912 - for human rights in Beijing this week. - Hey! 977 00:57:00,053 --> 00:57:01,350 - What? - Guys, the... 978 00:57:01,488 --> 00:57:02,921 - The graphic. - Are you? 979 00:57:03,056 --> 00:57:05,718 - Change the graphic! - See, the thing on the... 980 00:57:05,859 --> 00:57:07,156 ...on the graphic. - Lose the graphic! 981 00:57:07,294 --> 00:57:08,283 - Guys! - Lose it! 982 00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:11,864 Get the... the font on the graphic, like the type on the... 983 00:57:11,998 --> 00:57:13,761 - Please. - China has been accused 984 00:57:13,900 --> 00:57:17,199 - by detractors of backsliding... - You just... 985 00:57:17,337 --> 00:57:20,568 Yep, yep. Yep, yep, yep. 986 00:57:20,707 --> 00:57:22,675 Stand by to change. Deko in. 987 00:57:22,809 --> 00:57:23,901 We're going to weather. 988 00:57:24,044 --> 00:57:26,376 For first look at weather, here's Ernie Appleby. 989 00:57:26,513 --> 00:57:28,003 Thanks, Colleen. 990 00:57:28,148 --> 00:57:31,117 I'd like to take a moment to welcome Mike Pomeroy to his first broadcast. 991 00:57:31,251 --> 00:57:35,278 As one hurricane said to another, I have my eye on you. 992 00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:42,117 And lookin' across the country today, you'll see we still have 993 00:57:42,262 --> 00:57:44,253 that high-pressure system comin' out of the Midwest. 994 00:57:44,397 --> 00:57:46,922 We'll dissolve to tape. Tape, stand by. 995 00:57:47,067 --> 00:57:49,592 I want a center shot. Just keep... Just center on one. Center on one. 996 00:57:49,736 --> 00:57:52,534 That's perfect. Here we... OK, great. Ready one. Ready two. 997 00:57:52,672 --> 00:57:54,105 And go two. 998 00:57:54,241 --> 00:57:55,936 Dissolve to Mike, and cue them. 999 00:57:56,076 --> 00:57:57,907 And ticker in. 1000 00:57:58,044 --> 00:58:00,979 Tomorrow on Daybreak, we'll show you eight things you didn't know 1001 00:58:01,114 --> 00:58:03,742 you could do with potatoes. Should be fun. 1002 00:58:03,883 --> 00:58:08,081 Also, we'll talk to some relief workers who say the international community 1003 00:58:08,221 --> 00:58:10,985 - has abrogated its duty to protect... - What the hell is abrogated? 1004 00:58:11,124 --> 00:58:12,989 That wasn't on the teleprompter. 1005 00:58:13,126 --> 00:58:15,856 - Ready to widen on two. - And that's our show for this morning. 1006 00:58:15,996 --> 00:58:18,590 Welcome to the Daybreak family, Mike. 1007 00:58:18,732 --> 00:58:22,634 - And thank you... - Thank you, everyone. Goodbye. 1008 00:58:22,769 --> 00:58:24,464 Goodbye. 1009 00:58:25,672 --> 00:58:27,139 Goodbye. 1010 00:58:27,274 --> 00:58:28,605 Goodbye. 1011 00:58:29,175 --> 00:58:31,040 - Goodbye. - How many is that? 1012 00:58:31,177 --> 00:58:33,475 - Goodbye. - Three each. 1013 00:58:33,613 --> 00:58:36,275 - Bye. - And we're out! 1014 00:58:36,416 --> 00:58:39,908 - Fade to black. Here we go. - Bye-bye. 1015 00:58:42,289 --> 00:58:43,278 You know what you are? 1016 00:58:43,423 --> 00:58:46,051 Excuse me for saying this, but you're an asshole, OK? 1017 00:58:46,192 --> 00:58:50,219 - Becky! What's her last name? - You said you would banter! 1018 00:58:50,363 --> 00:58:53,526 No, no, no, no. You said I would banter. 1019 00:58:53,667 --> 00:58:55,999 I said I would anchor a news show. 1020 00:58:56,136 --> 00:59:00,038 That's what my contract calls for. And that's what I'm going to do. 1021 00:59:00,173 --> 00:59:03,108 But, Mike, you can't just go out there and give monosyllabic answers 1022 00:59:03,243 --> 00:59:06,610 - and talk about natural disasters! - Are you sure? 1023 00:59:06,746 --> 00:59:10,375 'Cause I think that's what I just did. Anyway, what are you doing here? 1024 00:59:10,517 --> 00:59:11,814 You have to get back to your office 1025 00:59:11,951 --> 00:59:14,351 and wait for your phone call from Jimmy Carter. 1026 00:59:14,487 --> 00:59:19,618 - What? - Jimmy Carter, "sexual offender." 1027 00:59:19,759 --> 00:59:22,227 Now, go away, I'm busy. 1028 00:59:22,362 --> 00:59:25,388 - But Mike, can you just promise... - Go away. 1029 00:59:27,267 --> 00:59:30,293 Go away. I just go away! 1030 00:59:37,510 --> 00:59:40,536 Hey. It wasn't that bad. 1031 00:59:45,118 --> 00:59:47,382 I don't wanna talk about it. 1032 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:48,748 OK. 1033 00:59:52,025 --> 00:59:53,549 There's a plan. 1034 01:00:00,467 --> 01:00:01,900 Sorry, just... 1035 01:00:02,602 --> 01:00:03,591 Hey. 1036 01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:08,271 I may need to see who that is. 1037 01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:11,734 - OK. What if something happens? - Then someone else 1038 01:00:11,878 --> 01:00:14,108 will cover the world's biggest pumpkin. 1039 01:00:15,448 --> 01:00:16,676 - That's not fair. - No. 1040 01:00:16,816 --> 01:00:18,807 No. Because you work for a magazine show. 1041 01:00:18,952 --> 01:00:20,783 - Yes. - And you do one 15-minute story 1042 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:22,478 - every two months. - That's right. 1043 01:00:22,622 --> 01:00:26,888 And we are doing 15 stories a day, none more than three minutes each, 1044 01:00:27,026 --> 01:00:29,392 I mean, maybe three and a half, if it's the President 1045 01:00:29,529 --> 01:00:31,997 or they're nude photos or something... 1046 01:00:32,132 --> 01:00:34,600 How reliable is your alarm clock? 1047 01:00:43,076 --> 01:00:46,637 ...is making progress. However, one good piece of news 1048 01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:49,874 - is that the winds have come in... - What's goin' on? 1049 01:00:50,016 --> 01:00:52,314 Fire out west. They're looking for an arsonist 1050 01:00:52,452 --> 01:00:55,421 and they think that he might have set the fire, like, three weeks ago? 1051 01:00:55,555 --> 01:00:56,920 He could be a serial offender. 1052 01:00:57,056 --> 01:00:59,820 - It's the middle of the night. - I'm sorry. 1053 01:01:01,694 --> 01:01:05,824 I have had such a lovely time. 1054 01:01:05,965 --> 01:01:08,627 I really have and I... 1055 01:01:08,768 --> 01:01:12,295 - I'm so glad that we... - Go. 1056 01:01:13,506 --> 01:01:16,703 - What? - You want to go. You should go. 1057 01:01:19,112 --> 01:01:21,012 Are you sure about that? 1058 01:01:22,549 --> 01:01:23,914 Get out of here. 1059 01:01:31,257 --> 01:01:32,485 Thank you. 1060 01:02:27,947 --> 01:02:30,438 Good Morning America got the mother of the arsonist. 1061 01:02:30,583 --> 01:02:34,542 What? Ass! 1062 01:02:35,922 --> 01:02:40,916 Don't. All right, I need an arsonist spouse or something. 1063 01:02:41,060 --> 01:02:42,721 - Damn it. - So you're gettin'scooped 1064 01:02:42,862 --> 01:02:46,662 like every morning. How come? I mean, do you have any kind of plan? 1065 01:02:46,799 --> 01:02:49,393 Yes, the show will still... need some fine-tuning... 1066 01:02:49,536 --> 01:02:51,663 Fine-tuning? Really? 1067 01:02:51,804 --> 01:02:53,465 Can you tune something when nothing is working? 1068 01:02:53,606 --> 01:02:56,074 Mike Pomeroy is the key to making this show work. 1069 01:02:56,209 --> 01:02:58,700 Well, at the moment, he's ruining your show, and to be honest, 1070 01:02:58,845 --> 01:03:00,870 you haven't got much time for fine-tuning, right? 1071 01:03:01,014 --> 01:03:03,346 - Yeah. I'm not worried. - You're... Really? 1072 01:03:03,483 --> 01:03:04,950 I'm not worried. 1073 01:03:05,084 --> 01:03:07,382 How about profiles? We're doing a piece on Daniel Boulud. 1074 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:10,546 Does it end with me in the kitchen making profiterole? 1075 01:03:10,690 --> 01:03:11,748 No. 1076 01:03:12,792 --> 01:03:15,420 Cornish hens. OK, forget that. 1077 01:03:15,562 --> 01:03:18,497 How about an interview with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill? 1078 01:03:18,631 --> 01:03:22,590 Either one of them becomes president or cures cancer, let me know. 1079 01:03:22,735 --> 01:03:24,930 But I do have one good lead. 1080 01:03:25,071 --> 01:03:27,005 Yeah? Yeah, really? 1081 01:03:27,140 --> 01:03:32,009 - I hear you're dating Senor Dipshit. - What? 1082 01:03:32,145 --> 01:03:34,272 - How did you make that happen? - Who told you that? 1083 01:03:34,414 --> 01:03:37,076 - Him and you, really? - No, I'm... 1084 01:03:37,216 --> 01:03:40,743 Because usually, you know, he dates girls that are sort of, you know with... 1085 01:03:40,887 --> 01:03:43,822 Taffy pullers with... heavy meatballs? 1086 01:03:43,957 --> 01:03:46,983 There's a developing story coming out of Albany, though. 1087 01:03:47,126 --> 01:03:49,321 The governor's tax returns are being audited. 1088 01:03:49,462 --> 01:03:52,625 Oh, for God's sakes, you're killing me, no! 1089 01:03:52,765 --> 01:03:55,359 - I want people to get to know you. - No, you don't. 1090 01:03:55,501 --> 01:03:59,267 You want me to pander so you can sell erectile dysfunction medication. 1091 01:03:59,405 --> 01:04:01,032 - Oh, no, I don't. - Well, I won't! 1092 01:04:01,174 --> 01:04:03,165 Oh, my God! It's you, you're that guy! 1093 01:04:03,309 --> 01:04:06,403 I just saw you this morning and everyone was eating stuffed zucchini, 1094 01:04:06,546 --> 01:04:09,208 and you were cranky about it. I was like, "Oh, my God, there's that guy!" 1095 01:04:09,349 --> 01:04:12,011 You used to do news, right? Like a while ago? It's... 1096 01:04:13,386 --> 01:04:15,752 Please, remove your hand from my person. Thank you. 1097 01:04:15,888 --> 01:04:20,257 This is great! Thank you! I can't believe it! Dan Rather! 1098 01:04:21,194 --> 01:04:24,027 - Dan Rather! - See? People want to like you. 1099 01:04:24,163 --> 01:04:26,495 You're... you're in their home every day, 1100 01:04:26,633 --> 01:04:28,828 and, you know, it's an honor and, you know, 1101 01:04:28,968 --> 01:04:32,927 why can't you just do stories people might enjoy? Mike... 1102 01:04:33,606 --> 01:04:35,540 We're in trouble. I'm in trouble. 1103 01:04:35,675 --> 01:04:37,575 Help me, please. 1104 01:04:39,946 --> 01:04:43,074 Dan Rather. For Christ's sake. 1105 01:04:43,216 --> 01:04:45,514 Becky! Becky! 1106 01:04:45,652 --> 01:04:47,381 Becky. 1107 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:50,956 I have a great idea for a segment. Get ready for this. 1108 01:04:51,090 --> 01:04:54,491 Past lives. If we could find out who celebrities 1109 01:04:54,627 --> 01:04:57,790 had been in their past lives, I think that would be terrific, don't you? 1110 01:04:57,930 --> 01:05:03,493 I mean, what if Justin Timberlake had been Abraham Lincoln? 1111 01:05:04,270 --> 01:05:08,297 Many actors have changed their names to be taken more seriously. 1112 01:05:08,441 --> 01:05:10,170 Ricky Schroder became Rick. 1113 01:05:10,309 --> 01:05:12,743 The Rock became Dwayne Johnson. 1114 01:05:12,879 --> 01:05:15,313 And Portia de Rossi's name used to be Amanda, 1115 01:05:15,448 --> 01:05:18,042 but she changed it so as to sound more like the car, 1116 01:05:18,184 --> 01:05:20,652 which she felt sounded more impressorial. 1117 01:05:20,787 --> 01:05:24,245 A new name has become the latest, hottest accessory for celebrities, 1118 01:05:24,390 --> 01:05:26,017 like a Birkin bag or a baby. 1119 01:05:26,159 --> 01:05:28,684 Back to you, Mike or Michael. 1120 01:05:28,828 --> 01:05:32,229 - Dissolve to Mike and ticker in. - How did she get here? 1121 01:05:32,365 --> 01:05:36,495 - Don't ask. - What? Is she sleeping with someone? 1122 01:05:38,604 --> 01:05:39,866 Pardon me? 1123 01:05:40,907 --> 01:05:42,340 Thanks. 1124 01:05:52,385 --> 01:05:55,548 - Have you seen these? - Yes, but... 1125 01:05:55,688 --> 01:05:58,054 You want to make the ratings worse? That's why you came here? 1126 01:05:58,191 --> 01:06:02,787 Well, no. Mike is still getting up to speed. 1127 01:06:02,929 --> 01:06:04,658 - I'm working on a couple elements. - Gettin' Mike up to speed? 1128 01:06:04,797 --> 01:06:06,958 - Yeah. - You're circling the drain. 1129 01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:10,592 You rarely book anybody decent because of the ratings. 1130 01:06:10,737 --> 01:06:12,967 - You're not gettin' any big interviews. - We just need more time. 1131 01:06:13,106 --> 01:06:16,371 - Just a little... - God, you're, you're more naive 1132 01:06:16,509 --> 01:06:20,275 - than I thought, aren't ya? - Excuse me? 1133 01:06:20,413 --> 01:06:23,871 The network wants to cancel the show. 1134 01:06:24,851 --> 01:06:28,514 They want to run game shows and syndicated talk instead. 1135 01:06:30,923 --> 01:06:32,857 For a second, I thought you might have a shot, 1136 01:06:32,992 --> 01:06:34,721 especially when you got Pomeroy. But the joke's on me, 1137 01:06:34,861 --> 01:06:37,455 'cause it turns out you failed even more completely than the network thought. 1138 01:06:37,597 --> 01:06:39,690 In six weeks, they cancel the show. 1139 01:06:39,832 --> 01:06:42,323 Not only will you have significantly weakened our news division, 1140 01:06:42,468 --> 01:06:44,459 you will have presided over the demise of a show that's been on the air 1141 01:06:44,604 --> 01:06:46,538 for 47 years! Nice work. 1142 01:06:46,672 --> 01:06:50,039 Why don't you go over to PBS and see if you can kill Sesame Street. 1143 01:06:53,980 --> 01:06:56,039 Go. You've wasted enough of my time. 1144 01:06:57,917 --> 01:07:01,250 We have six weeks. Can you just not tell anyone yet? 1145 01:07:01,387 --> 01:07:03,514 Because morale isn't exactly at a peak. 1146 01:07:03,656 --> 01:07:06,420 Fine. Tell 'em when you want to. It doesn't really matter, does it? 1147 01:07:08,294 --> 01:07:10,592 Piper, get Phil Griffin on the phone. 1148 01:07:10,730 --> 01:07:12,288 Tell him if I don't hear from him by 5:00, 1149 01:07:12,431 --> 01:07:15,832 those Super Bowl tickets go to Phyllis McGrady! 1150 01:07:15,968 --> 01:07:18,095 ...joins us now with details. Roger. 1151 01:07:18,237 --> 01:07:21,331 It certainly is a happy day here on Lincoln Road 1152 01:07:21,474 --> 01:07:23,465 between Bedford Avenue and Rogers Avenue. 1153 01:07:23,609 --> 01:07:25,873 This is, yes, officials... 1154 01:07:32,852 --> 01:07:34,149 - We're live at five, people. - OK. 1155 01:07:34,287 --> 01:07:37,688 Feathery, fleecy, flocculent? 1156 01:07:37,824 --> 01:07:41,851 - Oh, for Christ's sake. - What? What's going on now? 1157 01:07:41,994 --> 01:07:44,861 Mike is offended by a word in the next story. 1158 01:07:44,997 --> 01:07:47,898 He's offended. It's about Easter chicks. 1159 01:07:48,034 --> 01:07:49,695 I'm not saying the word "fluffy." 1160 01:07:49,836 --> 01:07:52,236 It's bad enough I have to do these ridiculous stories. 1161 01:07:52,371 --> 01:07:54,271 You know what, buddy? Guess what? Last week, 1162 01:07:54,407 --> 01:07:57,205 I had to use the words "rectal" and "moisture" in the same sentence. 1163 01:07:57,343 --> 01:08:01,074 - Well, first dates can be awkward. - Mike! 1164 01:08:01,214 --> 01:08:02,238 - Becky... - That's it! 1165 01:08:02,381 --> 01:08:05,407 - Becky, Becky, what are you doin'? - I've had enough! 1166 01:08:06,485 --> 01:08:09,181 - Mike? I need to talk to you. - Becky, we're back in 60. 1167 01:08:09,322 --> 01:08:11,847 I'm sorry, this'll just take a second. 1168 01:08:11,991 --> 01:08:15,051 I've looked up to you all my life. 1169 01:08:15,194 --> 01:08:19,096 You know that? I actually idolized you. My dad and I used to watch you on TV. 1170 01:08:19,232 --> 01:08:22,463 So just, you know, imagine my surprise when it turns out 1171 01:08:22,602 --> 01:08:25,765 that you're actually the worst person in the entire world. 1172 01:08:25,905 --> 01:08:29,739 - Not the third worst! The worst! - What's goin' on? 1173 01:08:29,876 --> 01:08:33,403 Pomeroy. He broke the latest Daybreak EP. 1174 01:08:33,546 --> 01:08:35,411 ...how lucky we all are to have these jobs, 1175 01:08:35,548 --> 01:08:37,379 - how quickly that can be taken away. - We're back in... 1176 01:08:37,516 --> 01:08:40,417 And there's this guy, this really kind of great, smokin' guy 1177 01:08:40,553 --> 01:08:43,716 who can actually stand me long enough to have sex with me. 1178 01:08:45,825 --> 01:08:48,817 And you know what? It's all just a big mess. Because of you! 1179 01:08:48,961 --> 01:08:51,896 You know, nobody can do their jobs well around here 1180 01:08:52,031 --> 01:08:55,262 because you can't be bothered to do yours at all! 1181 01:08:55,401 --> 01:08:59,861 And we're back. 1182 01:09:00,006 --> 01:09:03,100 Welcome back to Daybreak. And now, with a check of the weather, 1183 01:09:03,242 --> 01:09:05,301 - here's Ernie. - Take Ernie on the plaza. 1184 01:09:05,444 --> 01:09:09,244 Thanks, Colleen. Surprisingly toasty day out here, isn't it, folks? 1185 01:09:09,382 --> 01:09:12,215 Yeah! 1186 01:09:12,351 --> 01:09:15,684 Good day to break out the bikini. I know I'm wearing mine right now. 1187 01:09:17,056 --> 01:09:20,651 All right. Well, what do we have here? 1188 01:09:20,793 --> 01:09:22,727 Goodness, honey. I did not put her up to this. 1189 01:09:22,862 --> 01:09:24,762 - Coke? Diet Coke? - No, I don't want a Diet Coke. 1190 01:09:24,897 --> 01:09:26,125 Step aside! 1191 01:09:29,402 --> 01:09:33,668 - Jerry, I would like to talk to you. - You're gonna bust a cap in my ass? 1192 01:09:33,806 --> 01:09:37,742 What if I get the ratings up? We've got six weeks. 1193 01:09:37,877 --> 01:09:39,742 What if I move that needle just enough? 1194 01:09:39,879 --> 01:09:42,177 - You won't. - We'II, you're... you don't know that. 1195 01:09:42,315 --> 01:09:43,612 - Becky. - There's got to be some number 1196 01:09:43,749 --> 01:09:46,741 I can hit that will give us a shot, that would give us an extra six months, 1197 01:09:46,886 --> 01:09:49,081 - something. - Sure, if you got over one point five 1198 01:09:49,221 --> 01:09:52,588 - or something absurd like that... - Done! So I've got your word? 1199 01:09:52,725 --> 01:09:54,625 I get those ratings up more than three quarters of a point, 1200 01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:57,092 - you give me more time? - It won't happen. 1201 01:09:57,229 --> 01:10:00,096 We'll see about that. 1202 01:10:01,500 --> 01:10:02,967 And your girlfriend Lisa? 1203 01:10:03,102 --> 01:10:05,570 Can you get her a dictionary and stick her on somebody else's show? 1204 01:10:05,705 --> 01:10:07,639 'Cause she's killing me. 1205 01:10:11,444 --> 01:10:15,039 Wow, well, look who the wind blew in! What happened to you? 1206 01:10:15,181 --> 01:10:17,615 Well, we're gonna change a few things. 1207 01:10:17,750 --> 01:10:19,718 - OK. - Is Ernie in place? 1208 01:10:19,852 --> 01:10:23,049 Yes, he is. He'll be interviewing people as they come off the coaster. 1209 01:10:23,189 --> 01:10:27,182 No, he won't. Not anymore, he's not. We're gonna put him on that coaster. 1210 01:10:27,326 --> 01:10:30,989 We're gonna strap a handheld to the car in front of him and then go live. Boom. 1211 01:10:31,130 --> 01:10:34,065 It's called "picking up the game," people. OK? So from now on, 1212 01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:37,727 every single story that we do, it's gonna have to be sensational! 1213 01:10:37,870 --> 01:10:40,134 We're gonna be more aggressive. We're gonna work harder. 1214 01:10:40,272 --> 01:10:41,432 And we're gonna do it right now. 1215 01:10:43,242 --> 01:10:46,109 - Are, are you gonna? - I'm not gonna sing! 1216 01:10:46,245 --> 01:10:47,678 Why do people ask me that? 1217 01:10:47,813 --> 01:10:50,907 So the big question is, are we gonna be able to hear his mic? 1218 01:10:51,050 --> 01:10:53,985 Yes, we will. If he has a heart attack, 1219 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,918 we'll be able to capture every heartrending scream. 1220 01:10:57,056 --> 01:10:59,991 - Really? Great. - Cue her. 1221 01:11:00,126 --> 01:11:02,356 Thrill-seekers have something to look forward to this summer 1222 01:11:02,495 --> 01:11:05,589 as Six Flags unveils a brand-new roller coaster. 1223 01:11:05,731 --> 01:11:08,825 The "Manhandler" is the fastest coaster in the U.S. 1224 01:11:08,968 --> 01:11:13,029 - With speeds up to 130 miles an hour... - Stand Ernie by. Here we go. 1225 01:11:13,172 --> 01:11:16,835 ...ninety-five degrees. Our own Ernie Appleby is getting a sneak peek 1226 01:11:16,976 --> 01:11:19,410 at this amazing new ride, isn't that right, Ernie? 1227 01:11:19,545 --> 01:11:22,343 - Standing by. Open his mic. - Ernie, can you hear us? 1228 01:11:22,481 --> 01:11:26,383 Yes. Yes, I can. And so far, it's a beautiful ride. 1229 01:11:26,519 --> 01:11:29,852 Quite an amazing view from up here. 1230 01:11:29,989 --> 01:11:32,651 Mostly blue skies. Cumulus clouds on the horizon, 1231 01:11:32,792 --> 01:11:34,259 always a good sign this time of year. 1232 01:11:35,394 --> 01:11:37,794 Might be heading into our first dip. 1233 01:11:37,930 --> 01:11:42,458 Oh, my. Oh, my. 1234 01:11:42,601 --> 01:11:46,128 Oh, fu... 1235 01:11:54,513 --> 01:11:56,071 No! 1236 01:11:57,616 --> 01:12:00,642 Oh, yeah. No, this is a great idea. 1237 01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,388 - Please, make it stop! - Take two. 1238 01:12:13,232 --> 01:12:16,929 What are you gonna do to him next? Strap electrodes to his balls? 1239 01:12:17,069 --> 01:12:20,800 I actually felt sorry for that animatronic puppet asshole. 1240 01:12:20,940 --> 01:12:23,932 Hey, look, we got 80,000 hits on YouTube already. 1241 01:12:24,076 --> 01:12:26,738 And Ernie is absolutely thrilled. And by the way, 1242 01:12:26,879 --> 01:12:28,369 we had another bump in the minute-to-minutes. 1243 01:12:28,514 --> 01:12:32,041 - Becky, good stuff. - Thank you! Lighten up, Mike. 1244 01:12:32,184 --> 01:12:34,846 You know what I've noticed? People only say, "Lighten up" 1245 01:12:34,987 --> 01:12:37,285 when they're gonna stick their fist up your ass. 1246 01:12:37,423 --> 01:12:39,084 Well, you know what? I hate to break it to you, 1247 01:12:39,225 --> 01:12:41,250 - but the fact is... - Oh, my God, amazing segment. 1248 01:12:41,393 --> 01:12:46,126 Thank you. The world has been debating news versus entertainment for years 1249 01:12:46,265 --> 01:12:48,324 and guess what? Mike, your side lost. 1250 01:12:48,467 --> 01:12:51,766 - You know what? - What? 1251 01:12:51,904 --> 01:12:55,271 You're wrong. People are smart. 1252 01:12:55,407 --> 01:12:59,366 They want information. Not junk, which is all you're willing to give them. 1253 01:12:59,512 --> 01:13:02,538 - Junk. Sugar, sugar, sugar. - Excuse me. 1254 01:13:02,681 --> 01:13:04,376 - OK. - And more sugar. 1255 01:13:04,517 --> 01:13:07,077 Yeah, well, what would you have them do, Mike? 1256 01:13:07,219 --> 01:13:13,215 Eat bran all day? Fiber, fiber, fiber? 1257 01:13:13,359 --> 01:13:15,987 We have to get the ratings up, Mike, 1258 01:13:16,128 --> 01:13:20,861 or we can have a lot of high-minded ideas and not be on the air. 1259 01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:24,128 This show may go down, but it's not because I'm not trying my hardest. 1260 01:13:24,270 --> 01:13:29,173 You hear me? I don't care what you do, but I'm not giving up. 1261 01:13:32,411 --> 01:13:33,345 I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to you right now about Ernie. 1262 01:13:33,345 --> 01:13:35,575 I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk to you right now about Ernie. 1263 01:13:35,714 --> 01:13:37,147 - Oh, my God, you, too? - Yes. 1264 01:13:37,283 --> 01:13:39,080 Why is everyone worried about Ernie? You know, he's a grown man. 1265 01:13:39,218 --> 01:13:40,776 - Worried about Ernie? You kidding me? - He signed release forms. 1266 01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:43,912 He's a hack. Look, I see what you're doing. 1267 01:13:44,056 --> 01:13:46,547 I think it's great. It's exactly what I've been waiting for, 1268 01:13:46,692 --> 01:13:49,024 so just, you know, sign me up, coach. Put me in. 1269 01:13:49,161 --> 01:13:51,061 - Whatever you want to call it. - Really? 1270 01:13:51,197 --> 01:13:52,391 Yeah. 1271 01:13:53,465 --> 01:13:55,433 Do you have any preexisting conditions? 1272 01:13:55,568 --> 01:13:58,867 Are you kidding? Look at me. I'm a rock. 1273 01:14:08,614 --> 01:14:09,876 Would you like to hold him? 1274 01:14:10,015 --> 01:14:12,813 I would love to hold it, dear little thing. 1275 01:14:12,952 --> 01:14:14,817 Watch it. Careful he doesn't go in there. 1276 01:14:14,954 --> 01:14:15,943 Can you get it out though? 1277 01:14:17,323 --> 01:14:19,587 Mike wanted to be here for this. Mike Pomeroy. 1278 01:14:19,725 --> 01:14:23,684 You know how he is. He loves animals. 1279 01:14:23,829 --> 01:14:25,387 Have you just... You... And then... 1280 01:14:43,816 --> 01:14:46,478 Those are frog lips. Does a frog open its lips ever? 1281 01:14:46,619 --> 01:14:48,610 Ready four, take four. Ready one. Take one. 1282 01:14:48,754 --> 01:14:50,449 Ready one. Take it. 1283 01:14:50,589 --> 01:14:52,250 - I would never do that. - Kiss it. 1284 01:14:52,391 --> 01:14:54,985 How about a big kiss, sucker? 1285 01:15:00,332 --> 01:15:01,924 That's a little, that's wrong. 1286 01:15:04,236 --> 01:15:06,067 That was so good. Do it again. 1287 01:15:12,444 --> 01:15:15,242 Fitty, Fitty! Mr. Cent? Hi! Fan. 1288 01:15:15,381 --> 01:15:17,906 Big fan! Take you to the candy shop 1289 01:15:18,050 --> 01:15:19,813 - Whoa, let you lick - I heard the song. 1290 01:15:19,952 --> 01:15:22,750 I'm a producer for Daybreak and we would so love to have you on our show. 1291 01:15:22,888 --> 01:15:24,822 We'd give you twice as much time as the Today show. 1292 01:15:24,957 --> 01:15:28,723 And you could play four songs from your new record. Just think about it. 1293 01:15:29,995 --> 01:15:32,225 I'll take you to the candy shop 1294 01:15:32,364 --> 01:15:34,127 I'll let you lick the lollypop 1295 01:15:34,266 --> 01:15:36,700 - Oh! - Go 'head girl, Don't you stop 1296 01:15:36,835 --> 01:15:37,802 Yeah! 1297 01:15:37,936 --> 01:15:39,801 Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa! 1298 01:15:39,938 --> 01:15:42,168 I'll take you to the candy shop 1299 01:15:42,308 --> 01:15:44,037 Boy one taste of what I got 1300 01:15:44,643 --> 01:15:46,133 I'll have you spending all you got... 1301 01:15:46,278 --> 01:15:47,540 Ready one, take one! Ready two! 1302 01:15:59,992 --> 01:16:00,981 Well! 1303 01:16:01,126 --> 01:16:03,754 On the rabbi story, do you want the transvestite prostitute 1304 01:16:03,896 --> 01:16:06,194 - to be dressed as a man or a woman? - A man. 1305 01:16:06,332 --> 01:16:07,663 - Man. - No, a woman. 1306 01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:11,566 No, have him/her start the segment as a woman and then, 1307 01:16:11,704 --> 01:16:13,899 boom, after the break he/she comes back as a man! 1308 01:16:14,039 --> 01:16:16,507 - Yes. That's it. - Yes. Yes. 1309 01:16:23,882 --> 01:16:25,645 Back to you, Colleen. 1310 01:16:28,053 --> 01:16:31,045 - All right! They've cut! - Both. Emphatically. 1311 01:16:31,190 --> 01:16:32,919 Here are the ratings. 1312 01:16:33,726 --> 01:16:35,887 I know, I know. 1313 01:16:36,962 --> 01:16:38,862 Yes, yes. 1314 01:16:38,997 --> 01:16:41,329 And when we come back, we'll tell you about 1315 01:16:41,467 --> 01:16:44,459 new ways to cope with menopause. 1316 01:16:49,742 --> 01:16:51,471 New doorknobs. 1317 01:16:53,445 --> 01:16:54,742 OK. 1318 01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:56,814 - And am I doing it right? - Yes. 1319 01:16:56,949 --> 01:16:58,246 How do you know? You're not looking. 1320 01:16:58,384 --> 01:17:03,014 Or we could do a whole series on senior weight loss. A five-parter. 1321 01:17:04,089 --> 01:17:07,024 We could get that health expert, you know, the one with the... 1322 01:17:10,796 --> 01:17:13,321 It's good, it's good, it's good. I'll do it. 1323 01:17:17,803 --> 01:17:18,895 Wait! Wait, look. 1324 01:17:19,872 --> 01:17:23,399 The week-to-weeks are better and total viewers are up by five percent! 1325 01:17:23,542 --> 01:17:26,067 And those are not good enough! 1326 01:17:26,211 --> 01:17:28,873 Turns out the burger patties were contaminated with E. Coli, 1327 01:17:29,014 --> 01:17:31,482 which can cause cramping and diarrhea. 1328 01:17:31,617 --> 01:17:34,245 - Lose the ticker, music in... - We'll be right back on Daybreak. 1329 01:17:34,386 --> 01:17:36,820 Dissolve the logo. And mark. 1330 01:17:37,890 --> 01:17:39,482 And we're out. 1331 01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:42,788 Great, a story about uncontrollable shitting and look who gets it. 1332 01:17:42,928 --> 01:17:44,919 Well, it's not my sort of thing. 1333 01:17:46,131 --> 01:17:48,565 Can I just say one thing? That's our job. 1334 01:17:48,700 --> 01:17:52,192 I know you think you're above it and, of course, you were above it 1335 01:17:52,337 --> 01:17:55,465 before you got fired. But now, guess what, you're down in the muck 1336 01:17:55,607 --> 01:17:56,767 with the rest of us, Mike. 1337 01:17:56,909 --> 01:18:00,072 And yet I still have standards, unfortunately for you. 1338 01:18:00,212 --> 01:18:02,578 - Suppose I don't have standards? - Sure, you do. 1339 01:18:02,714 --> 01:18:06,241 When you got your Pap smear on air, you wore a silk robe. 1340 01:18:06,385 --> 01:18:08,285 - OK! - Classy touch. 1341 01:18:08,420 --> 01:18:09,853 - We're back in five... - That is it! 1342 01:18:09,988 --> 01:18:11,979 I've had it with you! I've had it! 1343 01:18:12,124 --> 01:18:14,251 - Three... and two... - Go, two. 1344 01:18:14,393 --> 01:18:16,327 ...one. - Dissolve and cue. 1345 01:18:16,462 --> 01:18:19,989 Tomorrow on the show, Colleen will make the British classic bangers 1346 01:18:20,132 --> 01:18:23,624 - and mash, with chef Gordon Ramsay. - That's right, I will, 1347 01:18:23,769 --> 01:18:27,330 because you refuse to do it, Mike. Guess it's beneath you. 1348 01:18:27,473 --> 01:18:30,533 Well, that and it's tough to get between you and a sausage, so... 1349 01:18:30,676 --> 01:18:32,769 Sausage, that's a good one. 1350 01:18:32,911 --> 01:18:37,143 Yes, and also you are a fatuous, pretentious idiot, 1351 01:18:37,282 --> 01:18:40,183 - so there's that. - A fatuous idiot who makes 1352 01:18:40,319 --> 01:18:44,016 - three times what you make. - That's our show for this morning. 1353 01:18:44,156 --> 01:18:48,183 See you tomorrow, folks. Goodbye. 1354 01:18:48,327 --> 01:18:49,851 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 1355 01:18:49,995 --> 01:18:51,155 - Goodbye. - And goodbye. 1356 01:18:51,296 --> 01:18:52,422 - Goodbye. - Bye. 1357 01:18:52,564 --> 01:18:54,088 - Yeah, no, no, no. - Bye. 1358 01:18:54,233 --> 01:18:56,463 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. Bye. 1359 01:18:56,602 --> 01:18:58,536 This is yesterday, 1360 01:18:58,670 --> 01:19:00,501 - after she insulted his tie. - Right. 1361 01:19:00,639 --> 01:19:04,575 After he asked her if she cries ice cubes. Huge spike. 1362 01:19:05,143 --> 01:19:06,474 They love it! 1363 01:19:06,612 --> 01:19:10,776 We're so close. I mean, we need this. We're, we're, we're almost there. 1364 01:19:10,916 --> 01:19:14,477 Coming up in our next hour, we'll be talking to people who successfully 1365 01:19:14,620 --> 01:19:16,679 completed this innovative rehab program. 1366 01:19:16,822 --> 01:19:19,382 Might want to pick up a few tips there, Mike. 1367 01:19:19,525 --> 01:19:24,224 Do they have rehab programs for bitter beauty queens with self-esteem issues? 1368 01:19:24,363 --> 01:19:26,661 I wonder about that sometimes. 1369 01:19:26,798 --> 01:19:29,062 Sometimes. Well, coming up next... 1370 01:19:29,201 --> 01:19:34,730 But they are way better. They're way up from last year. 1371 01:19:34,873 --> 01:19:38,707 I'm, I'm almost there. 1372 01:19:38,844 --> 01:19:40,675 So many people rely on this show. They believe in it. 1373 01:19:40,812 --> 01:19:42,973 You have until Friday. That's the deal we made. 1374 01:19:43,115 --> 01:19:45,515 And those are still not good enough. 1375 01:19:51,256 --> 01:19:54,692 ...so no real flooding to speak of in the neighborhoods. But the concern is, 1376 01:19:54,826 --> 01:19:57,351 they are prepared... 1377 01:19:57,496 --> 01:20:00,727 ...to help folks if necessary, Kitty. - What? 1378 01:20:00,866 --> 01:20:03,426 Well, the center of lowa's second biggest city, 1379 01:20:03,569 --> 01:20:05,537 Cedar Rapids, is already underwater. 1380 01:20:08,273 --> 01:20:09,535 Sorry. 1381 01:20:12,144 --> 01:20:14,339 I mean, our demos are getting better. 1382 01:20:14,479 --> 01:20:17,039 But our overall numbers, they're just not where they should be. 1383 01:20:18,584 --> 01:20:20,916 We're just missing... something. 1384 01:20:21,053 --> 01:20:25,649 Well, maybe it's time for another eight-part series on the orgasm. 1385 01:20:25,791 --> 01:20:28,123 Do you think so? I mean, 1386 01:20:28,260 --> 01:20:31,423 I don't know what else we would possibly talk about. 1387 01:20:32,431 --> 01:20:34,661 - You're making fun of me. - No. 1388 01:20:38,604 --> 01:20:39,969 Never mind. 1389 01:20:40,105 --> 01:20:41,902 Just... doesn't matter. 1390 01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:44,975 I'll just deal with it in the morning. 1391 01:20:47,479 --> 01:20:51,609 You look at me like there's something wrong with me all the time. 1392 01:20:51,750 --> 01:20:53,911 - And I can't, I can't do it. - What? 1393 01:20:54,052 --> 01:20:56,486 That is the most ridiculous statement you have ever made. 1394 01:20:56,622 --> 01:20:58,590 I can't let my guard down for one second, you know. 1395 01:20:58,724 --> 01:21:02,854 I don't look at my BlackBerry and I miss getting the next big story. 1396 01:21:02,995 --> 01:21:07,261 And I'm tired of feeling guilty about my work. I can't. 1397 01:21:07,399 --> 01:21:08,798 Becky, wait a second. 1398 01:21:23,382 --> 01:21:27,216 Yeah. OK. Look, that information's a matter of public record. 1399 01:21:27,352 --> 01:21:29,877 I have a right to see it. You know that. 1400 01:21:30,022 --> 01:21:32,388 You want me to come on down there and I'll bring a crew? 1401 01:21:32,524 --> 01:21:34,151 Better yet, a subpoena. 1402 01:21:35,727 --> 01:21:38,059 OK, and I think we should end the segment 1403 01:21:38,196 --> 01:21:40,460 with Ernie being tarred and feathered in honor of the anniversary 1404 01:21:40,599 --> 01:21:41,691 of the Boston Tea Party. 1405 01:21:41,833 --> 01:21:44,666 Or I could do my good story on weathervanes. 1406 01:21:44,803 --> 01:21:47,169 No! 1407 01:21:47,305 --> 01:21:50,001 OK, so great job, everyone. 1408 01:21:50,142 --> 01:21:54,306 Excuse me, excuse me. Just one, one moment, please. 1409 01:21:59,317 --> 01:22:01,649 I have a story I'd like to do. 1410 01:22:03,889 --> 01:22:05,151 Sauerkraut. 1411 01:22:08,460 --> 01:22:10,155 Sauerkraut? 1412 01:22:11,329 --> 01:22:16,824 Big annual Sauerkraut Festival upstate. 1413 01:22:17,536 --> 01:22:21,131 They bowl with cabbage, 1414 01:22:21,273 --> 01:22:22,831 make a big sauerkraut cake. 1415 01:22:22,974 --> 01:22:27,536 They... have a competition for the best sauerkraut. 1416 01:22:28,380 --> 01:22:30,848 You want to do that? 1417 01:22:30,982 --> 01:22:33,678 What? Do you have a problem with that? 1418 01:22:36,388 --> 01:22:37,582 No. 1419 01:22:37,723 --> 01:22:41,056 It's OK? I'm doing the kraut? Right? 1420 01:22:41,193 --> 01:22:45,095 - If you, if you want to. - Good. Good. 1421 01:22:51,303 --> 01:22:52,292 Hi! 1422 01:22:57,275 --> 01:22:59,209 - Hi! - Don't really have to go, you know. 1423 01:22:59,344 --> 01:23:01,141 I want to. My goodness. I wouldn't miss this for... 1424 01:23:01,279 --> 01:23:02,871 - Get in. - All right. 1425 01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:06,911 Say hello to Joe. 1426 01:23:07,052 --> 01:23:09,850 - Joe, Becky. Becky, Joe. Go. - Hi, Joe. 1427 01:23:10,589 --> 01:23:14,491 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This isn't the way. No, no. 1428 01:23:14,626 --> 01:23:17,959 - Mike, where are we going? - To cover the news. 1429 01:23:18,096 --> 01:23:19,791 - What? - At 8am this morning, 1430 01:23:19,931 --> 01:23:21,626 - I'm going to cover a story. - Mike. 1431 01:23:21,767 --> 01:23:25,203 - A real story. - Are you kidding me? 1432 01:23:25,337 --> 01:23:26,964 - Where are you? - I don't know. 1433 01:23:27,105 --> 01:23:30,165 - What do you mean, you don't know? - Well, he won't tell me. 1434 01:23:30,308 --> 01:23:33,038 He's kidnapped me. He's gone around some kind of bend 1435 01:23:33,178 --> 01:23:35,908 and I need you to get Colleen ready with a backup story, please! 1436 01:23:36,047 --> 01:23:39,016 - What backup story? - Let Ernie do the weathervane thing. 1437 01:23:39,151 --> 01:23:41,176 - No, no, no, no. Jesus. - I need something 1438 01:23:41,319 --> 01:23:43,082 when Mike's story tanks. 1439 01:23:43,989 --> 01:23:45,957 You know, you're a terrible person! 1440 01:23:46,091 --> 01:23:49,788 You baited me with sauerkraut. That's so low. 1441 01:23:49,928 --> 01:23:52,089 I mean, what the hell is this story, Mike?! 1442 01:23:52,230 --> 01:23:54,664 - The governor. - What governor? 1443 01:23:54,800 --> 01:23:57,325 We're not even anywhere near Albany. 1444 01:23:57,469 --> 01:24:00,802 No, we're not. It's up here a little further, Joe. 1445 01:24:00,939 --> 01:24:02,873 - A little further. - Oh, my God, 1446 01:24:03,008 --> 01:24:05,306 this is the governor's country house. Are you out of your mind? 1447 01:24:05,443 --> 01:24:08,935 You're experiencing a psychotic break. Are you insane? 1448 01:24:09,948 --> 01:24:14,351 Well, I won't be dragged down with you. You're gonna get us arrested and fired. 1449 01:24:14,486 --> 01:24:17,512 I get fired, I never work again, you lunatic. 1450 01:24:17,656 --> 01:24:19,954 I'm not gonna run it, Mike. I won't, you can't make me. 1451 01:24:20,091 --> 01:24:23,549 I'll run Colleen getting her bikini line waxed before I run it. Mike! 1452 01:24:23,695 --> 01:24:25,595 They're gonna cancel the show! 1453 01:24:31,002 --> 01:24:33,664 If we don't get our numbers up by the end of this week, we're toast. 1454 01:24:33,805 --> 01:24:37,673 We're gonna be replaced by soap operas and... game shows. 1455 01:24:41,379 --> 01:24:42,903 Come on, Joe. 1456 01:24:46,418 --> 01:24:48,215 - Lenny, are you ready? - Ready? 1457 01:24:48,353 --> 01:24:50,753 - Ready? Ready for what? - Jesus. 1458 01:24:54,626 --> 01:24:56,093 - Check, check. - Hey. 1459 01:24:56,228 --> 01:24:58,162 You'll know when to go live. Get out of my shot. 1460 01:24:58,296 --> 01:25:00,287 Go live with what? 1461 01:25:01,466 --> 01:25:03,195 Pomeroy! 1462 01:25:03,335 --> 01:25:05,735 - Gary, how are ya? - What the hell are you doin'here? 1463 01:25:05,871 --> 01:25:07,338 I need the weathervanes, Lenny. 1464 01:25:07,472 --> 01:25:09,702 - I need 'em, need... - So we're goin' with weathervanes. 1465 01:25:09,841 --> 01:25:10,830 - Yes. - Specifically, 1466 01:25:10,976 --> 01:25:14,434 we'd like to know how you feel about the Attorney General's filing 1467 01:25:14,579 --> 01:25:16,774 racketeering charges against you this morning. 1468 01:25:16,915 --> 01:25:19,042 - Charges of corruption... - No, wait, wait. 1469 01:25:19,184 --> 01:25:22,051 ...and steering government contracts. - Wait, wait, wait. 1470 01:25:22,187 --> 01:25:24,587 - We cannot wait! - Hold your horses. 1471 01:25:24,723 --> 01:25:28,420 And there's a hooker or two... in there as well, isn't there, sir? 1472 01:25:28,560 --> 01:25:29,959 - Oh, my God. - Becky! 1473 01:25:30,095 --> 01:25:31,653 - What is going on here? - Comin' through! 1474 01:25:31,796 --> 01:25:34,458 Mike, I don't know where you get your information. You know I like you. 1475 01:25:34,599 --> 01:25:36,294 - Stand by to go live. - What? 1476 01:25:36,434 --> 01:25:40,097 ...but if you don't leave, I'm gonna have to call the police. 1477 01:25:40,238 --> 01:25:42,103 - Wait one second. - I don't think that's gonna 1478 01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:43,798 be necessary, sir. 1479 01:25:44,542 --> 01:25:46,339 Becky! 1480 01:25:48,780 --> 01:25:50,441 Live! Live! 1481 01:25:50,582 --> 01:25:51,708 Live to Becky, now! 1482 01:25:54,753 --> 01:25:56,414 - Up on rem two! - Now taking you live 1483 01:25:56,554 --> 01:25:58,454 to Mike Pomeroy for a special report. 1484 01:25:58,590 --> 01:26:02,583 Federal authorities have been planning this raid for weeks. 1485 01:26:02,727 --> 01:26:06,561 This reporter has learned that the indictment contains 15 counts 1486 01:26:06,698 --> 01:26:10,293 of racketeering and using undue influence. 1487 01:26:10,435 --> 01:26:14,462 My sources tell me authorities have tapped phone calls, 1488 01:26:14,606 --> 01:26:16,801 and incriminating e-mails. 1489 01:26:19,344 --> 01:26:21,835 Mike Pomeroy, Daybreak. 1490 01:26:23,381 --> 01:26:25,372 Back to you in the studio. 1491 01:26:26,718 --> 01:26:28,583 - Take two. - Thanks, Mike. 1492 01:26:28,720 --> 01:26:30,984 Partly cloudy skies this afternoon with slight chance... 1493 01:26:31,122 --> 01:26:34,148 You know, you could have told me. I might have covered it anyway. 1494 01:26:34,292 --> 01:26:35,281 Liar. 1495 01:26:39,631 --> 01:26:41,189 Look, I get it. 1496 01:26:42,634 --> 01:26:45,899 Nobody really cares that I can do this job, but... 1497 01:26:49,307 --> 01:26:51,241 But I can. 1498 01:26:52,777 --> 01:26:55,075 I wanted you to see that. 1499 01:26:56,247 --> 01:26:57,942 That was a great story, Mike. 1500 01:26:58,083 --> 01:27:00,381 That was... that was better than a great story, 1501 01:27:00,518 --> 01:27:05,922 that was great television. I mean, that was bran with a doughnut. 1502 01:27:06,057 --> 01:27:07,922 A bran doughnut. 1503 01:27:11,529 --> 01:27:14,123 I've got a grandkid. 1504 01:27:14,265 --> 01:27:17,098 Did you know that? 1505 01:27:17,235 --> 01:27:18,930 Alexander. 1506 01:27:20,138 --> 01:27:23,403 I haven't seen him since I got fired. 1507 01:27:23,541 --> 01:27:27,409 I was embarrassed... after all I'd accomplished. 1508 01:27:27,545 --> 01:27:30,571 And then to... 1509 01:27:31,683 --> 01:27:36,143 ...come back to the news... this way. 1510 01:27:39,491 --> 01:27:41,686 The truth is, I'd... 1511 01:27:41,826 --> 01:27:44,659 I'd screwed up with my kids 1512 01:27:44,796 --> 01:27:46,855 way before I got canned. 1513 01:27:48,400 --> 01:27:52,131 Anyway, I was never at home and... 1514 01:27:53,204 --> 01:27:55,900 ...when I was, I took every phone call, 1515 01:27:56,041 --> 01:27:58,942 watching TV out of the corner of my eye. 1516 01:28:00,979 --> 01:28:06,007 Why am I telling you this? You're worse than I am. 1517 01:28:06,151 --> 01:28:09,086 You'd sleep at the office if you could. 1518 01:28:13,858 --> 01:28:16,486 Let me tell you how it turns out. 1519 01:28:17,829 --> 01:28:20,992 You end up with... with nothing. 1520 01:28:21,933 --> 01:28:23,525 Nothing. 1521 01:28:26,871 --> 01:28:30,864 Which is... which is what I had... 1522 01:28:31,676 --> 01:28:33,803 ...till you came along. 1523 01:28:41,152 --> 01:28:43,382 Wait a second. 1524 01:28:43,521 --> 01:28:46,319 Did you just say something nice to me? 1525 01:28:47,826 --> 01:28:50,351 I told you I could banter. 1526 01:28:53,098 --> 01:28:55,566 Felt like getting a jump on it. 1527 01:29:23,561 --> 01:29:28,089 They're not... awful. 1528 01:29:29,334 --> 01:29:30,858 How much longer can we get? 1529 01:29:31,002 --> 01:29:34,096 Well, I have to check with upstairs, but... 1530 01:29:34,239 --> 01:29:39,370 with these I can get you a year, a comfortable year. 1531 01:29:39,511 --> 01:29:41,138 I underestimated you, Becky. 1532 01:29:42,247 --> 01:29:45,375 That's... that's very, very true. 1533 01:29:46,284 --> 01:29:47,945 NBC called. 1534 01:29:49,454 --> 01:29:50,716 NBC? 1535 01:29:51,723 --> 01:29:54,385 Wanted to know how much time you have on your contract. 1536 01:29:58,263 --> 01:30:00,823 The Today show wants you. 1537 01:30:06,704 --> 01:30:09,730 Well, that's very flattering. I... 1538 01:30:13,511 --> 01:30:15,274 Is that what you want? 1539 01:30:46,277 --> 01:30:48,745 They were gonna cancel the show. 1540 01:30:49,514 --> 01:30:51,277 - OK. - Yeah. 1541 01:30:51,416 --> 01:30:54,476 And somehow, we saved it. 1542 01:30:54,619 --> 01:30:57,850 And, you know, the thing is... is that the second I knew 1543 01:30:57,989 --> 01:31:02,722 that everything was gonna be OK, the person that I wanted to tell was you. 1544 01:31:04,996 --> 01:31:08,329 The Today show? That's huge. 1545 01:31:08,466 --> 01:31:12,027 Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it's incredible. 1546 01:31:13,037 --> 01:31:15,562 But I, I have to think about it. I... 1547 01:31:15,707 --> 01:31:18,141 - What? - Well, yeah, I mean, I... 1548 01:31:18,276 --> 01:31:22,372 Well, the thing is, is that at Daybreak, everyone's really starting to click. 1549 01:31:22,513 --> 01:31:24,913 Everybody's pitching in and doing what they're best at. 1550 01:31:25,049 --> 01:31:26,641 - No story too high or low. - No, hold on, 1551 01:31:26,784 --> 01:31:30,049 you can't say no to this. When you get an opportunity like this, 1552 01:31:30,188 --> 01:31:33,157 - you have to grab it. - Even Mike is almost happy. 1553 01:31:33,291 --> 01:31:36,454 And that's a good enough reason to give up the best job in broadcasting? 1554 01:31:36,594 --> 01:31:38,391 We're... 1555 01:31:39,497 --> 01:31:43,160 Daybreak is a family now. 1556 01:31:44,135 --> 01:31:47,434 Becky, I've known Mike a long time. 1557 01:31:47,572 --> 01:31:49,563 I... It doesn't matter how happy he is. 1558 01:31:49,707 --> 01:31:52,642 He's not just gonna suddenly change into a different person. 1559 01:31:52,777 --> 01:31:55,405 Well, I think you're wrong. 1560 01:31:55,546 --> 01:31:58,071 I know what I'm doing with him now. 1561 01:31:58,216 --> 01:32:01,652 I do. I do. 1562 01:32:02,620 --> 01:32:04,713 It's gonna be great. 1563 01:32:06,524 --> 01:32:09,550 So we've got the Supreme Court Justice hearings at the top of the hour 1564 01:32:09,694 --> 01:32:12,185 and then... I forgot to tell you, Anthony Bourdain 1565 01:32:12,330 --> 01:32:16,767 - wants to do a segment with you! - Bourdain? Love him. Not doin' that. 1566 01:32:16,901 --> 01:32:20,200 But say hi to Tony. I owe him a bottle of Patron. 1567 01:32:21,706 --> 01:32:24,470 - What? - What? We do one good story together 1568 01:32:24,609 --> 01:32:28,636 and suddenly I'm your bitch? Don't think so. Sorry. 1569 01:32:28,780 --> 01:32:33,308 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. You can't do one story for me? 1570 01:32:33,451 --> 01:32:35,146 Oh, my God, what is wrong with me? 1571 01:32:35,286 --> 01:32:37,618 What am I doing here, beating my head against this wall? 1572 01:32:37,755 --> 01:32:40,246 I might as well go to the Today show where you don't have to poke 1573 01:32:40,391 --> 01:32:42,655 - Matt Lauer with a stick... - The Today show? 1574 01:32:42,794 --> 01:32:44,887 - Yes, they offered me a job. - Of course. 1575 01:32:45,029 --> 01:32:47,520 - But you know what? I said... - Time to move on. 1576 01:32:47,665 --> 01:32:48,962 You'll love the Today show. 1577 01:32:49,100 --> 01:32:52,263 You and Vieira can do menopause stories every week! 1578 01:32:52,403 --> 01:32:56,203 You know what's really ridiculous? Is that until about ten seconds ago, 1579 01:32:56,341 --> 01:32:59,742 I'd actually considered turning my back on the best job I've ever been offered. 1580 01:32:59,877 --> 01:33:01,742 Isn't that totally absurd? 1581 01:33:03,581 --> 01:33:05,412 What's keeping you? 1582 01:33:06,651 --> 01:33:08,278 OK. 1583 01:33:08,419 --> 01:33:12,753 You know, if you'd ever treated me with some kind of friendship or loyalty, 1584 01:33:12,890 --> 01:33:16,382 or trust, these things that you seem incapable of... 1585 01:33:16,527 --> 01:33:20,827 You miserable, Ionely, egotistical, selfish asshole! 1586 01:33:44,389 --> 01:33:46,118 - Hey, Becky. - Hi. 1587 01:33:46,257 --> 01:33:49,385 They called again. Today show. 1588 01:33:50,728 --> 01:33:52,286 Thanks. 1589 01:34:53,458 --> 01:34:55,119 Becky Fuller. 1590 01:34:55,259 --> 01:34:58,592 Obviously, we have a long track record of success here 1591 01:34:58,729 --> 01:35:03,098 at the Today show, but we're always looking to stay current, 1592 01:35:03,234 --> 01:35:07,034 to get out of our comfort zone, and we want the show 1593 01:35:07,171 --> 01:35:10,868 to have that youthful energy. And we are so impressed 1594 01:35:11,008 --> 01:35:13,306 with what you have done with Daybreak. 1595 01:35:13,878 --> 01:35:17,336 Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it. 1596 01:35:18,182 --> 01:35:20,480 Everyone is talking about it. You must know that. 1597 01:35:20,618 --> 01:35:23,781 I mean, you have done an amazing job of revitalizing a show 1598 01:35:23,921 --> 01:35:26,719 that many people had just completely written off. 1599 01:35:26,858 --> 01:35:29,053 Well, thank you. Thanks. 1600 01:35:29,193 --> 01:35:30,820 And we're out! 1601 01:35:32,730 --> 01:35:34,630 You did this. 1602 01:35:34,765 --> 01:35:36,460 They're gonna hire her. 1603 01:35:36,601 --> 01:35:39,798 Yeah. She's at the Today show right now, ding dong. 1604 01:35:39,937 --> 01:35:44,033 Do you have any idea, you know, what you've done here? 1605 01:35:44,175 --> 01:35:48,441 Because we had a decent producer, a decent show and, 1606 01:35:48,579 --> 01:35:50,513 God forbid, anyone around here should be happy, 1607 01:35:50,648 --> 01:35:53,981 but you had to have this happen, didn't you? 1608 01:35:54,118 --> 01:35:55,244 All right, stand by, folks. Here we go. 1609 01:35:55,386 --> 01:35:57,445 Three, two, one. 1610 01:35:57,588 --> 01:36:01,547 And dissolve two. And cue 'em! Cue 'em! 1611 01:36:01,692 --> 01:36:04,684 - Welcome back to Daybreak. - What is wrong? 1612 01:36:04,829 --> 01:36:06,421 ...at the nation's crumbling infrastructure. 1613 01:36:06,564 --> 01:36:07,895 Go to Colleen. Jesus, jump off Mike. 1614 01:36:08,032 --> 01:36:09,522 - Where the hell is he going? - Take three, three. 1615 01:36:10,368 --> 01:36:14,304 Cue over to three. Swing her to three, please. Come on, Jane, over to three. 1616 01:36:14,438 --> 01:36:17,134 Sorry, the... this segment's usually a two shot 1617 01:36:17,275 --> 01:36:20,176 of Mike and Colleen and Mike's not there. 1618 01:36:21,546 --> 01:36:24,606 They've probably just changed something. Sorry. 1619 01:36:25,550 --> 01:36:27,677 I don't know. Where is Mike? 1620 01:36:29,220 --> 01:36:31,188 - I need eggs. - You need what? 1621 01:36:31,322 --> 01:36:33,722 You know, from chickens. Eggs! 1622 01:36:35,826 --> 01:36:38,556 Really don't enjoy this job. 1623 01:36:38,696 --> 01:36:41,722 Chinese people, move, move, move! 1624 01:36:41,866 --> 01:36:43,925 Thank you! 1625 01:36:44,068 --> 01:36:48,698 Celery. Peppers. Cheese. Cheese. 1626 01:36:52,577 --> 01:36:54,374 Yeah, thank you very much. 1627 01:36:55,212 --> 01:36:57,806 We wanted to know what your plans are for sports coverage. 1628 01:36:57,949 --> 01:37:00,850 Sports. Great, OK. Great. 1629 01:37:00,985 --> 01:37:03,749 I love sports. 1630 01:37:03,888 --> 01:37:06,823 Come on, move, move! Let's go, let's go! 1631 01:37:06,958 --> 01:37:09,483 - Get it in there, slide it in! - Mike, tell us what you need. 1632 01:37:09,627 --> 01:37:14,655 I need a cutting board, good knife, nice plate, bowl, whisk. 1633 01:37:14,799 --> 01:37:17,393 What is this, rubber? Get me a real bowl. 1634 01:37:17,535 --> 01:37:19,127 - Where are my eggs?! - Cue over to three. 1635 01:37:19,270 --> 01:37:22,239 - Where are my goddamn eggs?! - Eggs for Mike, please! 1636 01:37:22,373 --> 01:37:25,570 In respect to sports, I think that it's really important to reach out 1637 01:37:25,710 --> 01:37:28,372 to women through their kids because it's not that big of a step 1638 01:37:28,512 --> 01:37:32,039 to go from being a soccer mom to, you know, a... 1639 01:37:33,184 --> 01:37:34,742 Oh, my God. What is he doing? 1640 01:37:38,789 --> 01:37:40,279 Sorry, I just... 1641 01:37:40,424 --> 01:37:44,520 This is... Mike Pomeroy is having a nervous breakdown on air. 1642 01:37:44,662 --> 01:37:45,993 That's kind of big news. 1643 01:37:46,130 --> 01:37:48,496 ...a meal for their afternoon repast, 1644 01:37:48,633 --> 01:37:52,160 something they could make using whatever ingredients 1645 01:37:52,303 --> 01:37:55,170 - they had available. - Holy shit. 1646 01:37:55,306 --> 01:38:00,141 I've been making frittata for about 20 years now, 1647 01:38:00,277 --> 01:38:03,212 ever since I was taught how to, 1648 01:38:03,347 --> 01:38:06,441 on a naked weekend with a beautiful Italian movie star, 1649 01:38:06,584 --> 01:38:09,883 who shall, of course, remain nameless. 1650 01:38:10,021 --> 01:38:13,252 Occasionally, I make them at home. 1651 01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:17,322 But only for people that I... 1652 01:38:17,461 --> 01:38:19,053 People I really care about. 1653 01:38:20,931 --> 01:38:24,332 Now the key to a great frittata 1654 01:38:24,468 --> 01:38:26,834 is a very hot pan, 1655 01:38:26,971 --> 01:38:29,769 because that, my friends, 1656 01:38:30,675 --> 01:38:34,975 is what makes it... fluffy. 1657 01:38:37,048 --> 01:38:39,380 We'll let this firm up a little bit. 1658 01:38:43,387 --> 01:38:45,912 - Dash of pepper. - I'm sorry. I... 1659 01:38:47,992 --> 01:38:49,357 You watchin' this? 1660 01:38:52,229 --> 01:38:56,393 - Becky? - Yes, I... yeah. 1661 01:38:56,534 --> 01:38:58,434 He is not gonna ask you twice. 1662 01:38:58,569 --> 01:39:01,561 We'll give it a few seconds, then we'll pop it in the hot oven. 1663 01:39:03,007 --> 01:39:04,599 Bye! Thanks! 1664 01:39:13,150 --> 01:39:14,674 A little pepper. 1665 01:39:25,396 --> 01:39:28,024 Stand by. He's goin' back to the oven. Ready three. 1666 01:39:36,707 --> 01:39:40,165 A lot of people like a glass of di Gavi. 1667 01:39:40,311 --> 01:39:42,302 Gavi di Gavi, perhaps. 1668 01:39:42,446 --> 01:39:45,904 I, myself, like a... Barolo. 1669 01:39:54,658 --> 01:39:56,853 I'll just free up the edges. 1670 01:40:20,818 --> 01:40:23,719 Next week on the show, I'll show you how to make 1671 01:40:23,854 --> 01:40:26,414 a fantastic beignet, 1672 01:40:26,557 --> 01:40:28,752 which the rabble like to call... 1673 01:40:30,995 --> 01:40:31,984 ...doughnuts. 1674 01:40:37,168 --> 01:40:39,261 The old bastard. 1675 01:40:41,672 --> 01:40:45,631 You know, he's still the third worst person in the world. 1676 01:40:47,945 --> 01:40:49,879 Yeah, I know. 1677 01:40:53,684 --> 01:40:55,117 That's good. 1678 01:40:58,122 --> 01:41:00,454 That's really good. 1679 01:41:00,591 --> 01:41:03,526 I want a tropical fruit plate. 1680 01:42:04,722 --> 01:42:08,385 "His gravity leavens the silliness of morning TV, 1681 01:42:08,525 --> 01:42:12,723 making for an incongruous but somehow perfect match. 1682 01:42:12,863 --> 01:42:15,388 Turns out that after 40 years in the business, 1683 01:42:15,532 --> 01:42:18,695 the real Mike Pomeroy has finally arrived." 1684 01:42:18,836 --> 01:42:19,928 Not bad. 1685 01:42:20,070 --> 01:42:23,198 By the way, I'm getting my prostate checked next week. 1686 01:42:23,340 --> 01:42:25,331 I thought I'd take a crew with me. 1687 01:42:25,476 --> 01:42:28,172 - That's a great idea. We... - Jesus, I'm kidding. 1688 01:42:28,312 --> 01:42:31,611 No, seriously, they have these little teeny, tiny cameras 1689 01:42:31,749 --> 01:42:33,546 - that go right up your... - No, no, no. 1690 01:42:33,684 --> 01:42:35,675 What if we got you a body double? 1691 01:42:37,655 --> 01:42:39,054 - No! - No? 1692 01:42:39,189 --> 01:42:41,316 Not in a thousand years.